It’s been exactly 80 days since I started my first job. It’s been going pretty well so far. What I’m loving about it is that there isn’t a day I don’t learn something new. Some things are good, others…not so much.
Things you learn on your first job:
- Coffee is like life support. Even bad coffee is good coffee.
- Taxes are the devil.
- The more you work, the more breaks you need. The more breaks you take, the less work you get done. It’s a vicious cycle.
- Going to work is just like being in high school. There’s a principal, hall monitors, and social cliques. If you don’t behave, you’ll be in for it in the next PTA meeting.
- There are times you go to the bathroom just for the heck of it.
- Time spent in the restroom/near the coffee machine/in the elevator is not unproductive. Catching up on office gossip IS work.
- Dating now consists of chatting up the cute mail room guy near the water cooler. (he’s not really cute, but you’ve convinced yourself that he is)
- Sometimes you’ll put your headphones on just so that your annoying coworker doesn’t start a long conversation about who stole her lunch again.
- It’s your first job, and the economy is in the crapper. That means you should thank your lucky starts for the peanuts they pay you. But when you look at the homeless guy around the corner, it occurs to you that he is actually better off than you are.
- You will meet a coworker that hates your guts for no reason. You’ll find that you LOVE provoking this person subtly but very effectively.
- People will write cheesy motivational quotes on their dry-erase boards. Every time you pass by their desk, you have to restrain yourself from correcting their spelling and grammar. And by ‘correcting’, I don’t mean correcting.
- Working at such close proximity to each other, you start to understand your coworkers’ bathroom schedules. It’s both intimate and just plain weird.
- Bathrooms at work run on completely different rules. Sometimes it’s like a little meeting in there. Other times, it’s a fun inter-work hangout (aka a bathroom party). Most of the time though, you’re left very, very confused about what happened in there.
- Sometimes you’ll just stare at your screen to kill time. It’s ridiculous how long you can keep that up without getting bored.
- Taking a nap at work is a serious skill. It’s stealth-napping, and it’s not for amateurs.
- Calling in sick is the best lie ever invented. “Hey John, you weren’t in yesterday.” “Yeah, I called in sick.” *both nod in understanding*
- Sleep is a beautiful, wonderful thing. It’s like a lover you only get to see once in a while.
- Driving in rush hour brings out the worst in you. It will lead to murderous thoughts.
- You are worth a lot less than you think.
- You are worth a lot more than you think.
Your turn! What did you learn from your first job?