Life and Other Funny Things

Why did he, Newman, stop seeing her

One of my friends just started dating a new guy. She keeps raving about him,New Guy is sooooooooo nice! He did this reeeeeeally nice thing for me!!’  (yeah, emphasis on the vowels just like that.)

I haven’t met the guy yet. But I honestly wonder what his but is. No not his butt. His ‘But’. You know, like he’s really attractive BUT he likes to collect celebrities’ toe nail clippings. He has a really cute butt, but he’s a serial killer. Like that.

I mean, if he is as nice as she claims him to be, why did his Ex let him go. Did the Ex dump him, or did he dump her (him?).

Now if he dumped her, why? What was wrong with her? Does he just not have a heart? Is he too picky? And assuming that the Ex was in fact dump-worthy, why did he begin to see her in the first place?

On the other hand, if she dumped him, why did she do that? To have let such a great guy slip out of her hands, is she crazy? If she is crazy, then why was he seeing her? Is he crazy?

Why did he, Newman, stop seeing her

So the question then is, not so much why did she see him- as disturbing as that is- but why did he, Newman, stop seeing her

These are the things I think about. Maybe I’m crazy.

Have you ever thought about this stuff? Are you crazy? Do you think I’m crazy?

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