Life and Other Funny Things

Poetic Law For Dummies

I have a subject called Aspects of Contract and Negligence for Business, ACNB for short. The first time I saw the title in my course sheet, I seriously considered killing myself (by jumping off the Empire State building. It is the tallest building New York at 102 stories, and yet not so tall that you reconsider jumping off it. I was going to sing ‘I believe I can fly’ while I fell. Unfortunately, I don’t live in New York, and on a college student’s non-existent salary I don’t have the money to get there either. So killing myself has been postponed until further notice.). I don’t like ACNB. I don’t like it a bit. I even made a poem:

Do you like Negligence and Fraud?

I do not like it, ACNB.
I do not like Negligence and Fraud

Would you like to rule here or there?

I would not like to here or there.
I would not like to anywhere.
I do not like Negligence and Fraud.
I do not like it, ACNB

Would you like it in a house?
Would you like it with a mouse?

I do not like it in a house.
I do not like it with a mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere!
I do not like Negligence and Fraud!
I do not like it, ACNB!

(Above: Reason why I am NOT a poet.)

So I finally handed in my course work. Finished, done, on to the next one. But then suddenly (creepy danger ahead music) my professor called me to his desk.

‘Oh, no! Its all wrong. All of it! I did it all wrong!’ I thought. As I approached his desk, I saw a little smile on his face. What? A smile? He then proceeded to tell me how I should consider a career in law (cyber law specifically). Apparently I’ve got that skill (hidden and buried so deep that I’m not sure it’s really there) that you need to become a lawyer. Damn! That’s fantastic! I can become a lawyer! So made a quick calculation in my head:

Lawyers make big bucks + I like to shop = Get to shop all the time Help those in need

That sounds good! So I did the most natural thing in the world and downloaded Law School for Dummies off the internet.


I will never be able to download anything off the internet if I become a lawyer! NEVER EVER again.

I don’t know what to do, on one hand I could become a LAWYER! On the other hand I could download a bunch of free stuff from the internet! What to do? What to do?

I mean, I don’t want to end up like this guy

Cat scared of bar exam

Any lawyers out there? Got any advice? Charlotte B, any thoughts? Is it really worth forgoing the ability to download free things?


10 thoughts on “Poetic Law For Dummies

  1. Miss Four Eyes,
    Change class. Or dismiss the teacher. Everyone is wrong but you. And me, of course.
    Le Clown

  2. My former brother in law is a lawyer….go figure…he likes to debate…too bad my boyfriend and he never had a chance to meet cuz it would have been very entertaining…anyways…brother in law and father who also was a lawyer and a judge at one time really really dislike the capital gains tax….which makes me wonder how long do you have to be a lawyer to make a comfortable living…in my other life a lawyer career would have been cool….hopefully you hear from some lawyers out there…entertaining post…love the poem! 🙂

    • Wait, lawyers don’t make a good living? Well, its official I am not becoming a lawyer then. I mean whats the point? Plus that bar exam scares me. I do not do well under pressure. I imagine I would burst out in tears through the middle. :S
      Thanks for reading! Really glad you like it!

  3. lawyers/soon to be lawyers/law students can’t download free things from the internet? Shit! I should start a massive deleting then…

    my advice from me to you: don’t ever become a lawyer! although, if you love shopping as much as i do, you should reconsider selling your soul to the devil…

    • Haha! Maybe you don’t have to delete anything. You’re almost a lawyer, you can make up an elaborate yet convincing story about how and why you have them in lawyer-speak! 😀
      You guys get paid that well huh? Hmm…. maybe I should sell my soul to the devil

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