Dear Mr. Weighing Scale,
I know we’ve had our ups and downs. I know I haven’t been the most ideal partner. I’ve abused you, I’ve cursed you, I’ve told you to go to hell. But the truth is, I love you. I always have. You’ve been by my side for so long now; you are part of my life.
In our 12-year relationship, I’ve let you down a lot. And I’m really sorry about that. But you’ve let me down a lot too. Days when I could have sworn that I’d lost weight, you refused to move your scale down. You’d just sit there in my bathroom taunting me. But that’s okay, that’s all in the past now, it doesn’t matter anymore.
In the past couple of years, you and I have gotten closer to each other than never before. That one time, when we moved you into the downstairs bathroom was the worst week of my life. I missed you so much! There was a hole in my heart in the shape of a square; in the shape of you Mr. Weighing Scale. In the shape of you.
Today, despite all the crap I’ve been eating, you haven’t disappointed me. Today I fell in love with you, Mr. Weighing Scale. And all I ask in return is that you love me back the same way.
Otherwise, my clothes might start shrinking.