Life and Other Funny Things

Dear Mr. Weighing Scale

Mr. Weighing Scale

I ❤ You

Dear Mr. Weighing Scale,

I know we’ve had our ups and downs. I know I haven’t been the most ideal partner. I’ve abused you, I’ve cursed you, I’ve told you to go to hell. But the truth is, I love you. I always have. You’ve been by my side for so long now; you are part of my life.

In our 12-year relationship, I’ve let you down a lot. And I’m really sorry about that. But you’ve let me down a lot too. Days when I could have sworn that I’d lost weight, you refused to move your scale down. You’d just sit there in my bathroom taunting me. But that’s okay, that’s all in the past now, it doesn’t matter anymore.

In the past couple of years, you and I have gotten closer to each other than never before. That one time, when we moved you into the downstairs bathroom was the worst week of my life. I missed you so much! There was a hole in my heart in the shape of a square; in the shape of you Mr. Weighing Scale. In the shape of you.

Today, despite all the crap I’ve been eating, you haven’t disappointed me. Today I fell in love with you, Mr. Weighing Scale. And all I ask in return is that you love me back the same way.

Otherwise, my clothes might start shrinking.

Love,
Four Eyes

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24 thoughts on “Dear Mr. Weighing Scale

    • I hate it when they do that! Mr. Weighing Scale and I have a solution for the mysterious increase in weight (obviously it can’t be my fault), I just reset the pointer to -2, and everything’s better!

  1. The relationship between my weighing scale and I is like the one Jersey Shore’s Ronnei and Sam have haha

  2. Oh wow… I hate scales so much I refuse to even have one in the house (a refusal that Brad complains about whenever we need to weigh luggage before a flight, or our cats – but he’s always getting caught up on pesky details, that guy) And here you are sending a love letter to yours. I thought everyone hated them. I feel a bit bad now.

    • Haha! The poor thing!
      The number of times I have contemplated doing exactly that would make Mr. Weighing Scale very very scared. Lucky for him, I don’t have a baseball bat.

  3. Oh how he loves to taunt. I’ve always wondered what would happen if I put a cupcake on the scales at the same time as me. Maybe all he wants is an offering that you haven’t already eaten? I’ve got plenty of those too, Mr Weighing Scale!

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