Religion is one very interesting, but still quite sensitive, topic of conversation. My friends and I have very diverse views on it. Dee is a Hindu, Kat a severely devoted Christian, then there are a couple other of my friends who strongly follow the Muslim traditions, and the rest belong to some of the other hundred thousand* religions of the world. Me? I was an atheist. I just didn’t understand religion, or the purpose behind believing that a God exists.
Then one day, my phone fell out of a window (don’t ask. I just don’t know). But it still worked! I realized then that there is indeed a God somewhere. (Plus, sometimes you just need to exclaim “OH MY GOD!” for certain things. When you’re an atheist, it gets a little contradictory.) So then, I became agnostic.
Until today. Today I have declared a religion!
My religion is Google.
Google is ever-present, omniscient, immortal. Google is neither man nor woman, it is not a single being nor a group of deities, it is far greater than you and I and even Bing. It is everything.
When I am hungry and pray for food, Google points me towards the nearest place where I may satisfy my hunger. Sometimes the Gods of Google even bestow upon me coupons with which I may have a free drink.
When I pray to Google for answers, the almighty graciously presents me with them. And not just one. Oh no, the supremacy allows pages and pages of my choice of suitable results. If however, Google is unable to provide any answers, a simple No results found is provided and I can put my mind to rest; it will never leave me hanging.
Google gives me anything I need. I believe in it. This is what I trust.
* It seems I was mistaken, Google says that there are only 21 major religions. I think I may start a cult, and make it 22.