Life and Other Funny Things

I’m really getting up there

Last week I went to visit my new niece. You know what that means? That means I’m an aunt. I’m Aunt Four Eyes. That also means I’m old.

I am nearly two decades older than the girl. I am sooooo old!!

This feels weird. I mean, when did I get so old? How? I was the KID. Nobody used to take me seriously (not that anyone does now). And now all of a sudden I’m an aunt. Someone to look up to. I’ll be the one in the car instead of the one waiting for it. When did all of this happen? Where was I?

This kid is going to look up to me. I have to set an example. How the hell am I supposed to do that? If you knew the number of times a day I did something really stupid, you’d tell me to stay far far away from young impressionable minds. I am NOT a suitable person to be looked up to. Just no, okay?

I find myself in a room of kids, playing with hotwheels or barbies and someone will yell out “Just look after the kids for a bit while I run down to the store”. I keep waiting for the adult in the room to answer, but then I realize that they’re talking to me. I’m the adult. I’m the one who’s supposed to keep everyone out of trouble. I’m the one that needs to make sure none of the kids accidentally stab themselves with a knife in the kitchen. I’m the responsible one. I can’t laugh when someone says they need to pee, I’m the one who has to take them!

And if I really am an adult, then where are all my adult privileges? Where is my apartment? Where is my 401k? Why don’t I file taxes?  Why do I still hear the “You’ll understand when you’re older”? How come I’m not allowed to get out at 3 am and buy beer just because I can?

I’m stuck right in the middle. It’s the worst place to be. Young enough to be laughed at for not knowing better. Old enough for frightening responsibilities. Young enough to hold someone’s hand while crossing the road. Old enough to hold someone’s hand while crossing the road.

Why don’t I feel like I’ve grown up? I feel little. I feel completely inadequate. It seems everyone around me is moving so fast. And I’m just stuck……here. Where ever that is.

Here comes the quarter-life crisis once again. This should be fun.

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21 thoughts on “I’m really getting up there

  1. Miss Four Eyes,
    First, congratulations are in order. As for getting old… A kid a few years back asked me who Rambo was, after ear-dropping at our conversation around the table. That hit me hard. Little twerp.
    Le Clown

  2. Yea, I turned 30 this year, have 4 kids and 1 niece. I don’t know what happened because somehow I felt like I should feel different but I don’t, I still feel like a kid. What happened? Did I not flip the switch or something? I don’t know but oh well, let’s just enjoy it while we can. (P.S. You can still laugh when they say they have to pee! LOL)

  3. I am the youngest in my family, so I know how you feel. However, being the young, cool Aunt is the BEST feeling. Enjoy your new title and wear it well. You’re in control…think back to anything annoying that your sibling did then go buy the baby something really loud and annoying…paybacks are wonderful.

    • Ah, the cool Aunt! I like that, I can be her! I can spoil the crazy out of that kid, and she’ll love me for it!
      That is the best idea! Oh this is going to be fun…sweet sweet revenge 😀

  4. Aw you’ll be a great Aunt, I’m sure! I know how you feel about being in between a child and an adult. I suppose we should just make the most of what childhood we have left and use the new responsibility as practice for later life. However, if you want to avoid responsibility you can use the age-old trick of doing a job so badly that you’re never asked to do it again.

  5. If it makes you feel any better, that kid will think the sun rises and sets around you regardless of the insane things you do. Actually, probably because of the insane things you do. That’s how I always felt about my older cousins.

  6. This is really funny Miss Four Eyes! I enjoyed reading it. I’m an aunt as well and I only wish I felt like you do. My four year old nephew slips up and calls me grandma! — Ahahahahahaa! My sister, his mom is 18 years younger than me — same parents — go figure. I’m 50 in November so it is definitely possible — boo hoo hoo. Enjoy the limbo years!

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