Life and Other Funny Things

Fifty Shades of Revenge

The other day, my mother was telling me about a book that she wanted me to get for her when I was at the bookstore called Fifty Shades of Grey.

“What, Mom? What was that?”

“Fifty Shades of Grey, dear.”

Home Alone Boy

No! No! Please, just no!

“Er….um, do you know what it’s about?”

She shrugs “I guess it’s a romance novel? It’s a bestseller.”

“Okay, I’ll look for it.”

This might be normal for you. I mean, she is human after all. Why shouldn’t she read it? But you haven’t met my mother. She wouldn’t know lingerie from a dress. But whatever, I’m going to go and get it for her anyway. If I don’t she’ll wonder why, and then hunt it down and read it just because I don’t want her to. Just like with children, I find that if you don’t make a fuss about something, they soon lose interest. Perhaps she might figure out what it’s about and put the book away (fingers crossed!).

The problem now is that if she does read it, I’ll know the kind of stuff she reads. And that is extremely disturbing. I think she’s punishing me for asking her THE question when I was 11 (you know the question about…..ahem, sex)


17 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Revenge

  1. I’m glad my mother doesn’t even know about the existence of the book… or at least that’s what I think. Who knows what’s she’s reding in her Kindle… Anyway, I’m better off not knowing.

  2. My sister, who is probably the same age if not older than your mother, we are 15 years apart, just sent me a text this morning asking me if I read 50 shades. Now, she just retired, went to see Magic Mike and now is reading 50 Shades….be afraid!

  3. Miss Four Eyes,
    Your strategy is almost flawless. It’s like when you were a teenager and went to the convenience store to get cigarettes for your “mother”, right?…

    I’m sure the bookstore clerk will play along…
    Le Clown

    • Honestly, Le Clown, I think I’d be more comfortable telling the guy that the book is for ME than saying it’s for my mother. I wouldn’t be able to get the words out!

  4. Keep in mind that you mother has had sex so she may not be completely surprised by the book. Parents do grow up to be people you know! (and you should take her to see Magic Mke!)

    • While I still hold that I’m probably adopted and my parents are just really good friends so therefore have never done what you insist that they have, she’d freak out with that book. I mean……I hope she would. It would definitely make me feel better if she did

  5. This confirms my theory that more than half of the sales of this book can be attributed to peer pressure. Seriously! Tons of people have bought this book because they’ve “heard it was great”.

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