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Mad Libs Virgin

I must confess, I am a mad libs virgin. I never did them. I was way too stupid to do them in school. I was mad lib challenged.

Le Clown, in all his headache inducing magnificence, has given us another challenge. I cried. Not the single-tear-rolling-down-my-cheek kind of crying. The little kid version where you’re on the floor banging your arms and legs until they bleed. But no matter. I will see this contest to the end! Four Eyes is not a quitter!

She is just terrible at mad libs, and is considering referring to herself in third person more often.

Attempt 1:

I ran into Le Clown on the street the other day.  I was very surprised to see that he was galloping with a ferret.  I said, “Hey, bucko, what the flounder are you doing with that hairy hat??”

Le Clown got off the soaking wet ferret and said, “I’m simply sharing my magnificent pants, they smell so nice, my friend.”

“Wow,” I said.  “You really are a strange man, seek help, Le Clown!”  And I bid him good day.  As I continued on my journey, I heard the popping sounds of a fart behind me.  It made me fart too.

What? I think farts are funny. The question is, why don’t YOU think farts are funny?

Attempt 2:

I ran into Le Clown on the street the other day.  I was very surprised to see that he was drawing emoticons with a giant smiley balloon.  I said, “Hey, little clown boy, what the rabbit’s feet are you doing with that air head??”

Le Clown popped the balloon with flames in his eyes and said, “I’m simply sharing my magnificent love for emoticons, my friend.”

“Wow,” I said.  “You really are on fire, Le Clown!”  And I bid him good day.  As I continued on my journey, I heard the soft sounds of a giggling clown boy behind me.  It made me combust in flames.

Attempt 3:

I ran into Le Clown on the street the other day.  I was very surprised to see that he was frolicking with a drag queen that looked like Hillary Clinton.  I said, “Hey, pretty ladies, what the high heeled shoes are you doing with that inflatable sheep??”

Le Clown ripped his platinum blonde wig off and said, “I’m simply sharing my magnificent sheep with Bo Peep here, my friend.”

“Wow,” I said.  “You really are bald, Le Clown!”  And I bid him good day.  As I continued on my journey, I heard the laughing sounds of a rainbow behind me.  It made me cry.

I think I’m getting better at this! No? Oh well. Feel free to close the window, this shit going to get real. Fifty Shades of Grey style. I might even try being sexy.

Attempt 4:

I ran into Le Clown on the street the other day.  I was very surprised to see that he was not referring to himself in third person with a circus mirror.  I said, “Hey, Rudolf , what the Christmas spirit are you doing with that autographed copy of Fifty Shades of Grey??”

Le Clown looked in the mirror as it shattered to pieces and said, “I’m simply sharing my magnificent inner goddess with Ana Steele’s, my friend.”

“Wow,” I said.  “You really are a closeted fan, Le Clown!”  And I bid him good day.  As I continued on my journey, I heard the moaning sounds of a clown on fire behind me.  It made me hot.

I should just stop embarrassing myself now, you’re saying. I know you’re getting tired. But hey, my embarrassment is your gain eh? Plus I get two clown noses for every entry.

Attempt 5:

I ran into Le Clown on the street the other day.  I was very surprised to see that he was sitting very quietly with a red nose in his hand.  I said, “Hey, Le Clown , what the butterfly’s wings are you doing with that clown costume ??”

Le Clown slapped his butt and said, “I’m simply sharing my magnificent poutine with my one-ab, my friend.”

“Wow,” I said.  “You really are a Canadian, Le Clown!”  And I bid him good day.  As I continued on my journey, I heard the gurgling sounds of a stomach behind me.  It made me take a dump.

Now go blog friends. Go take a dump.

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17 thoughts on “Mad Libs Virgin

  1. Miss Four Eyes,
    These are great… But the contest rules stipulate that they most be posted on the challenge’s page… So cut and paste you go!
    Le Clown

  2. Jesus in the cross!!
    You’ve got 10 noses there, I gotta step up my game or I’ll lose miserably.
    I’m really bad at this too, I put random words in bag, picked them and wrote whatever it was there. Randomness rule!

    • I just realized that even with the 10 noses I lose 😦
      No matter, Four Eyes does not go down without a fight!
      Your idea of putting random words in a bag is genius! They’ll be hilarious!

  3. Your madlibs are truly inspired. Mine kind of suck. I’m also not sure why I’m in this contest, except that it’s a contest, and I’m in it. For some reason. I want to be on the blogroll of a clown, and get pressed. Something is wrong. BTW I found you on Le Clown, of course. No random stalking for me.
    P.S. I love the 50 shades one especially. I’ve turned hating that book into an art, I think.

    • Thank you, Alice! I’m sure yours don’t suck. That’s the thing about mad libs, they can never suck!
      It’s an ingenious idea, isn’t it? The prize of being on Le Clown’s blogroll! Nobody knows why they want it, we all just NEED it.
      No worries, I stalk enough people to know that we’re harmless 😀

    • Alice at Wonderland, I know nothing about you except your username and I am already a fan. Alice in Wonderland is my favourite book of all time so you obviously have good taste. I will have to come check you out!

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