My Engaged Friend said to me that I should date more, she wants me to find a nice guy and settle down. Of course she does. She’s been so cheerful it’s like Pollyanna on crack, now she wants the whole world to be happy. Which is a nice thought, but it gets me riled up (because I’m cynical, not because I’m a lesbian. Just thought I should clear that up). I will find someone nice when I meet someone nice. It’s not as easy as ‘the crowds parted, our eyes met, and we lived happily ever after’. I mean, surely it isn’t. Is it?
Nearly everyone I know is in a relationship or are happily married. Now I have no intention of getting married in the near to distant future, but how is it so easy for people to find that someone? Not just someone, someone you can trust and love and be yourself with. Someone who you’d do anything for, someone you know would do the same for you.
I tried to explain to her that men I meet aren’t interested in me. And the ones that are (bless them), end up being sorely disappointed later since I try to use the line “I come from the land of the Kama Sutra” within 10 minutes of talking to them (what? If you could say that, tell me you wouldn’t!)
None of this was convincing her. So I thought I’d do what I do best. Diagrams. Everything is better when you put it in a graphical easy-to-read format*!
The green boxes are people I could potentially date. As we start eliminating people from the red boxes there is only one tiny box left. Then after that there’s always specifics, like he should know how to cook, he needs to speak English, or he has to know how to tie his shoelaces, stuff like that. There really aren’t many options in the end. Sadly, these guys aren’t arranged in a graphical easy-to-read format when I meet them. Who knows where in the world that one person from that little green box is right now. He could be having a tea party with penguins in Antarctica for all I know.
God I hope he isn’t having a tea party with penguins in Antarctica!