Life and Other Funny Things

4 Things Not To Do This Christmas

I saw this thing going around on the internet, 4 Things Not To Do This Christmas. They have profound and meaningful stuff like ‘Don’t forget Jesus’. Here is mine:

  1. Don’t pee in the snow.Funny-Christmas-ecards-e-cards-xmas-x-mas-haha-sick-3_thumb
  2. Don’t leave threatening letters for Santa
  3. Don’t say Christmas-y things (‘Ho, Ho, Ho!’) in an attempt to get laid
  4. Don’t try to be Santa (Let me paint you a picture. Setting: It’s freezing cold, you’re on the roof, it’s snowing and you’re holding a large bag full of presents, damn thing weighs fifty pounds. Your plan: slide down the chimney and surprise kids. Problems: you break your legs with the twelve foot fall, the fire is lit so you not only burn yourself but all the presents you spent so much time and money buying. Your kids know how to dial 911, cops arrive, next thing you know you’re behind bars and little elf is feeling you up)

 

I think I’m taking a little break from blogging for now, so I guess I’ll see you in 2013. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy New Year!

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47 thoughts on “4 Things Not To Do This Christmas

    • Haha! ‘Even Santa can’t stop stupid’, so true!
      Wishing you the very best for the new year, Lisa, and Merry Christmas! Hope you see more of those amazing decorations (so that we can see them too) 🙂

  1. Don’t knock threatening letters – they work! Visit tomorrow – I finally got off my butt and wrote an inspiring post about the 12 days of Christmas – 50 Shades style. Nothin’ but class, folks. Also, a Christmas special. Oh, WOOT. 5th thing not to do at Christmas – leave advertisements for your crap on other peoples’ blog posts.

    Oh, F.Y.I. Squirrel and Sad Pony are headed over with a green bean casserole. Set two more places. Also, they say “ho, ho, ho”. Merry Christmas.

    • Revision: Everyone except Alice, don’t write threatening letters to Santa.
      Plus, if we all start blackmailing Santa, he might get better at the negotiations, and the next thing we know Sad Pony has gone ‘mysteriously’ missing!
      Haha, 12 days of Christmas 50 Shades style! I wouldn’t miss it!

      Two more places? Think we’ll make it to the table?

  2. Okay, you say don’t pee in the snow. That doesn’t count for me, right? How else am I supposed to let others know “I Wuz Here”!?

    Besides that, it’s still okay for me to leave buttprints by pressing my naked butt in the snow, right?

  3. That’s why you’re supposed to read the card first. Etiquette exists for a reason, Santa… Emily Post was nobody’s fool. :). Your picture of being Santa was terrifying in it’s specificity, haha! :). Have a lovely blogcation!!

  4. See you next year! I plan on avoiding all 4 items on your list…maybe print out that Santa pic to teach everyone the true meaning of Christmas: just buy your gift recipient what’s on the list and not get cute!

  5. You’re right, no one should say “ho, ho, ho” to try and get laid. That also shouldn’t work… eeeeek…
    But I was totally planning on going down the chimney! Making me rethink my plans? Darn you girl!

  6. 1. I like to pee in the snow. 2. I only leave homemade cookies for Santa. 3. I don’t need tricks in order to get laid. Also, I have a better chance of getting laid when I’m not being an idiot lol. 4. I’m afraid of heights. And…. have a great break! Happy New Year!

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