Guest Post

Ten things you didn’t know about Miss Four Eyes

Have you ever met a person that is so insanely amazing that left you wondering how they do it? This person’s got it all, he’s crazy handsome, sweet, and hilariously funny. For the third time here, ladies and gentlemen, The Hook! Enjoy his post, and don’t forget to check out his blog, You’ve Been Hooked!


1) She has a secret origin. Her mother, Queen Hippolyta, sent her to Man’s World to combat evil… wait, that was Wonder Woman. Never mind.

2) She doesn’t just blog naked. She prays that way, too. It makes her feel clean and dirty simultaneously.

3) She once killed a man. With a pair of glasses, of course.

4) The world of film beckons. Her tree hugging pic (see below), inspired Vivid Video to offer her a contract for a multi-film series tilted Miss Four Eyes Loves Wood.

Tree kiss

5) Literal translations are her thing. She thought “tagging” bloggers meant something else entirely – until the authorities got involved.

6) Her parentage is questionable. Her deepest, darkest secret? She is actually the long-rumored missing Kardashian sibling.

7) She’s not cut out for the kitchen. Her first batch of chocolate chip cookies actually came out radioactive. On the plus side, she’s her own nightlight so she can turn the lights out when blogging naked…

8) Her best work has ended up on the cutting room floor. She was originally cast as the fourth witch in Oz the Great and Powerful, but she made the rest of the cast look like hacks. Mila Kunis felt like Lindsay Lohan compared to Miss Four Eyes. And James Franco couldn’t handle another humiliation after sinking the Oscars last year….

9) She’s the best. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

10) CLASSIFIED. I tried to disclose this final piece of information, but guys in dark suits and sunglasses showed up at my house carrying a black bag….

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115 thoughts on “Ten things you didn’t know about Miss Four Eyes

  1. Pingback: A Visit To Miss Four Eyes. (And March Break Madness Has Truly Begun!) | You've Been Hooked!

  2. Hey, Hook, quit doing all of Miss Four Eyes’ work and come do mine. My brain is swiss cheese at this point. And yes, all 10 of those are totally correct. That tree pick makes Sad Pony and Squirrel swoon. Squirrel is planning on moving into that tree.

  3. The more you think you know the more you want to know. You are so very funny. I loved all ten and there were ten so that was good. I am not sure how I can quantify which one I liked best the tree hugger is funny, kissing a tree? Are you sure kids didn’t have nicknames for you? 🙂 Praying naked and feeling clean and dirty at the same time is hilarious. You do a lot of things without clothes. I am way too self conscious for that, I even have time showering naked, , watch video for demonstration. I am now pretending to work while writing this, so I must do some actual work and hope that the humor and wonderful thought behind this post is enough to get me through the next 45 minutes. 🙂 Thanks for the fun BBQ!

  4. all this back and forth guest posting is making me dizzy. wait…I’m not dizzy….yes I am….think I’ll go away now. (nice post though and now I”m jealous) 😉

  5. Miss Four Eyes is the best and I still swear she works at my local Whole Foods in the Deli. If not, the poor girl I stare down every week probably thinks I’m a looney tune. I love that she was able to take someone down with her glasses without damaging them…good girl!

  6. Your awesomeness just blinded me into mute submission.
    Also, I like what you’re wearing. I know you’re a Kardashian and born with it (and hair?) but just saying. Just like that. Can’t think of much else.

  7. Number 4 is definitely my favorite because it gave me an excuse to see Miss Four Eyes’ iconic tree picture again and to save it to my computer for when I need a smile (yes a smile, why, what were you thinking of?).

    And I simply can’t resist a good wood joke!

    Mr Hook, you should definitely be the one to write her authorized biography.

    Love yas both, many radioactive nudie hugs 🙂


  8. # 2 was our fav, clean and dirty at the same time 🙂 Also # 4 why weren’t you hugging that tree naked ?? Trees need some loving too !

      • haha nudity and prayer just reminds me of an embarrassing incident with my grandma when i was like 14 lol lol really had fun reading about you.

        • once when i was 14, i stayed at my uncle’s in San Fran. my grandma was there too. i sleep in the nude and it was early in the morning when she went in my room to pray the rosary, i think she likes it there cos the window gives her a view of the trees blah blah.. half-awake, i stirred, then felt the heavy blanket fall off.. so of course, my grandma got to see my whole business. “Santísima Trinidad!,” i heard her gasp. lol i just kind of pretended to be asleep cos i didnt know what to do hahaha then i felt her approach me and cover me up with the blanket. lol

        • True enough, at 14 with all the puberty things firing up it can be a very uneasy time indeed. Hopefully now that your older you have had some experiences that were more stimulating. We have been caught by house guests on several occasions, always makes for some nice open conversation.

  9. Pingback: Top 10 RAWResome Blog Posts {Mar. 10 – 16} | julie's chick lit

  10. ‘She doesn’t just blog naked. She prays that way, too. It makes her feel clean and dirty simultaneously.’ – hahaha what a brilliant phrase!

    Missy, you sound even more interesting than before 😉

  11. Pingback: Miss Four Eyes Takes The Wheel… | You've Been Hooked!

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