Have you ever met a person that is so insanely amazing that left you wondering how they do it? This person’s got it all, he’s crazy handsome, sweet, and hilariously funny. For the third time here, ladies and gentlemen, The Hook! Enjoy his post, and don’t forget to check out his blog, You’ve Been Hooked!
TEN THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT MISS FOUR EYES
1) She has a secret origin. Her mother, Queen Hippolyta, sent her to Man’s World to combat evil… wait, that was Wonder Woman. Never mind.
2) She doesn’t just blog naked. She prays that way, too. It makes her feel clean and dirty simultaneously.
3) She once killed a man. With a pair of glasses, of course.
4) The world of film beckons. Her tree hugging pic (see below), inspired Vivid Video to offer her a contract for a multi-film series tilted Miss Four Eyes Loves Wood.
5) Literal translations are her thing. She thought “tagging” bloggers meant something else entirely – until the authorities got involved.
6) Her parentage is questionable. Her deepest, darkest secret? She is actually the long-rumored missing Kardashian sibling.
7) She’s not cut out for the kitchen. Her first batch of chocolate chip cookies actually came out radioactive. On the plus side, she’s her own nightlight so she can turn the lights out when blogging naked…
8) Her best work has ended up on the cutting room floor. She was originally cast as the fourth witch in Oz the Great and Powerful, but she made the rest of the cast look like hacks. Mila Kunis felt like Lindsay Lohan compared to Miss Four Eyes. And James Franco couldn’t handle another humiliation after sinking the Oscars last year….
9) She’s the best. But you already knew that, didn’t you?
10) CLASSIFIED. I tried to disclose this final piece of information, but guys in dark suits and sunglasses showed up at my house carrying a black bag….
Want more of The Hook? Click here:
- And So It Begins…
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- The Academy Awards Broadcast I’d KILL to See…