I’m a clumsy person. People think this is something I need to fix and that some day falling down a flight of stairs backwards* is going to get me into serious trouble. I don’t really agree with them. I mean sure, there are better things to be proud of then falling down a flight of stairs backwards (but really, it was like being on a rollercoaster, but better!). Being clumsy doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, I recommend you set your reputation as a clumsy person too, and enjoy all the perks of being a clutz with me.
- You are the best person to come to for risk management. You are so experienced in things going wrong that you have the ability to predict all the possible things that could go wrong (the only problem is that you can’t exactly tell how to stop these things from happening in the first place)
- Nobody asks you for help with moving anymore. Some friends asked you to help carry their great-grandfather’s grandfather clock and you somehow managed to drop it down four flights of stairs.
- Clumsy is the new hot. (unless you trip and everyone sees your granny panties/heart-print boxers. But it’s still a great conversation starter)
- Your high fives are awesome. Regular people have boring regular high fives, where one person will slap the other person’s palm. Sometimes they’ll attempt to be cool (how this works, I have no idea) and change the end to various aquatic creatures like a jellyfish. But yours, YOUR high fives are awesome. They’re so awesome you need multiple attempts to get it perfect. Sometimes you’ll end up missing the palm entirely and smacking the other person’s butt. But let’s face it Butt-fives are so much better than Jellyfish-fives.
- Clumsiness is a good excuse for getting out of things. Like how Auntie Nina stopped inviting you to her many (horribly boring) tea parties. You keep dropping her china.
- When you fall over and your glasses come off, it’s adorable. (if I ever meet a man that trips and his glasses fall off his face with his things scattered everywhere, I might have to marry him on the spot. Especially if he has a beard.)
- You can drop your computer back to life if it ever dies on you. (this works with pretty much everything……most of the time)
- You’re 73% more likely to fall into a giant bucket of toxic waste and become a superhero than most people. It’s the scientific law of clumsiness.
You’re also more likely to accidentally bump into someone with the flu and catch it all over again after you just barely made it through the last one.
*as opposed to head first? Yeah. I think I’ll take falling down backwards.