Life and Other Funny Things

Bird Brain

The nightingale is known to have one of the most beautiful voices. They symbolize poets and their poetry because of their creative and seemingly spontaneous songs. Nightingales get their name because they’re known to sing at night as well as during the day, their favorite time to sing is the hour just before sunrise.

One of them lives in the tree right outside my window.


It never stops! EVER! I can’t take it anymore, I’m going insane! All day and night it goes “CooOOoooo CooOOoooo” as loud as it can. Imagine a high pitched whistle. Musical? NO. Not at 5 am in the morning. Annoying to the point that you consider making rotisserie nightingale for the neighbor’s dog? Oh yes.

to kill a nightingale

I know you think it’s a beautiful creature of nature, but it isn’t. This bird is pure evil.

I can tell that it’s plotting something EVIL. I just don’t know what it is yet. At first I thought it was trying to kill me with high pitched coos (coos kill. They affect the cerebral vortex of the left brain, rendering a person deaf and partially paralyzed to the point where you can only walk around dragging one leg behind the other like a zombie). But then what would it get from killing me? Nightingales don’t eat humans….I don’t think.

Maybe it’s trying to take over the world by making me a minion. I can sense the madness settling in already, it’s just a matter of time that I start taking orders from a tiny musical bird.

Maybe it’s a meth head trying to call its dealer.

Maybe it’s singing for its one true love that got lost (or ran away from his incessant cooing).

Maybe it’s just freakishly annoying.

Common_Nightingale - Copy

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106 thoughts on “Bird Brain

  1. LOL! I can totally relate! Are these the same birds as mourning doves? When I moved in with my husband, my cats in two, the little cat picked up on the sound and coos! Did you ever hear a cat coo? My cat never shuts up either, so I feel for you! 😉

  2. Can you move rooms? That’s what we did! Same bird every morning & cyclists riding past at 5am shouting at each other. Wasn’t sure who to throw the egg at first!!!

  3. As a bird lover I’ll try to sympathize … I’m failing. Instead I’ll wish you a happy weekend and many happy coos! Sorry, that was mean.

  4. I’ve never heard a nightingale. I have bluejays and crows outside my window. They are annoying. And squirrels. Also annoying. And barking dogs. And a peacock. and a rooster. The peacock is the worst.

    • Really the peacock is the worst? I would’ve guessed rooster. I think we can conclude that the more beautiful people think a bird is the more annoying it is. A direct correlation based on very detailed scientific studies. 😉

  5. Haha, the angry eye brows made me lol 🙂 I spent my teen years in rural Australia where the birds NEVER shut up, all day, all night, all morning. Oh and then there’s the cows. The country is supposed to be quiet and relaxing compared to city life…nope.

    Still, when it’s so cacophonous you eventually get used to it. One noisy bird on the other hand is very annoying!

    So I feel for ya. I usually love spring time birdsong but in the early morning all one can think of is inventive ways to shut it up 🙂

    And to top it off he/she is spending a lot of time with your partner (the tree)! Grrrr!


    ps. I did it again, I saw a pic on facebook and was instantly reminded of Miss Four Eyes:

    • Cows too huh? And to think I can’t even handle a single little bird. (which by the way, I haven’t actually seen yet. I know it’s there in the branches, I just can’t locate it)

      Bird songs are nice, but only from 10 am to 10 pm. Do you think they’d be open to scheduling their times?

      It’s MY tree!! It’s possible that that is what’s bothering me the most.

      That cat is so darn cute with those glasses! Thanks for the share, Rohan 😀

  6. Hahaha! Yes, we have many more birds now than we did at the old house. Maybe because there are these tall, annoying allergy carriers (some call them trees) around. If you think nightingales are bad, you should try blue jays. Those suckers can make NOISE especially when they’re trying to crack a nut. They are noisier than the woodpeckers – and yeah, I’ve had a whole family of those little suckers. Freakin’ birds.

    I think this bird may be warning you about the fruitcake, though. “Miss Four Eyes, remember the fruitcake. Think of Squirrel and Sad Pony. Think of the PUPPIESSSSSSSSSSSS!”

    • Yikes! A whole family? I can’t even handle one bird here.

      I haven’t forgotten about the fruitcake. Wrote it down on a post-it and everything.
      Don’t worry, Squirrel and Sad Pony, I’m going to save you!

  7. I seem to have experience with a LOT of birds, but they never seemed so evil.
    You think it’s possible everytime my Parrot calls out to me it’s actually trying to make me it’s Minion?! I don’t wanna be ruled on by Birds! NO

    • *facepalm* You have no idea how long it took me to figure out who BatGirl is.
      I think you should be very afraid of that parrot. Plus isn’t that the one that french kissed your friend?

  8. Is there some sort of curse linked with killing nightingales? Because if not, I’m thinking you should get a gun and shoot it. The bonus is that next week you can do a blog post on recipes for nightingale soup. Two birds with one stone?

  9. I feel your pain! I don’t even have a tree near my window, and they still wake me up. I guess there are a lot of tasty worms below my window… Maybe I can corrupt the ecosystem somehow.

  10. The bird is definitely after mind control. Some would tell you that it is just a bird, shoot it. End of story. Some would tell you that it is a gift you should learn to love it. Some would tell you that nothing in existence can happen without you manifesting it yourself. I just think it is a bird that has made a mistake. Do what you think is right. 🙂 (get a cat)

  11. Definitely a conspiracy going on here… and the people who think their “coos” are musical have just already been brainwashed by the tiny denizens of our doom. I can feel their powers chipping away at my will, at my consciousness, most fervently when I’m camping every summer…. they start in early every day, calling out with their mind altering blats and chirps, coos and caws, and there are just so many of them… I fear I will not be able to withstand their brainwashing much longer…

  12. I love animals but one that was wearing my patience thin on a daily basis is fair game. I would borrow a b.b. or air gun and target practice. It’s probably not enough to kill it but would stun it enough to possibly persuade it to move to another tree.

  13. Haha. I’ll trade you! I have mockingbirds outside my window! There is a school behind me and they imitate the bells and the kids yelling. Then there are the ones that imitate the Hawks. Those ones I laugh at.

  14. There’s a great moment in a really bad movie, Funny Farm, where Chevy Chase is at his desk with writer’s block. It’s an idyllic moment, with a sunny morning through the window, he has his coffee, and a bird is chirping in the windowsill. He’s staring ahead angrily, and then flicks his coffee at the bird without changing expression at all.

  15. I love birds but only when they pose for my camera..:D..Does an pillow on your ears help?;)..In my case, its the ducks outside…at first, I thought its my ipad or phone tune ( exactly like the ducks tune on iphone and ipad) but now everyday, I get to hear NATURAL alarm thanks to the ducks ( & no, I dont stay close any lake or park)

    • The pillow helps, but only sometimes. The bird has super sonic coos! They travel through walls and everything!
      Your natural alarm sounds great, I hope it isn’t at 5 am?

    • Me too, for the most part I’ve never had a problem with birds. I even feed the good ones (the quiet ones) behind my place. This one on the other hand…..I wish I had a BB gun too!

  16. It could be worse, imagine instead of that bird 10 pigeons.
    My neighbor across the street is losing her mind, she has a very loud family of pigeons living under het balcony.
    I have to deal with the kids of my neighbor upstairs, triplets, killing them would send me to jail. The only payback I can count on is when I meet them in the elevator, they all are afraid of dogs.
    I think you already have something to put on the bbq this Memorial Day.
    Loved the doodle.

    • No, not pigeons! Your poor neighbor. I used to have pigeons, 3 of them. My dog made sure they never came back. (by scaring the crap out of them, NOT by eating them)
      Ha! I love when annoying people are scared of dogs. It’s just so fun!
      Thanks, Leo 😉

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  18. I used to live in Miami, where, in the Winter, we would sleep with the windows open. And we had a Nightingale singing in a tree outside the bedroom. After several sleepless nights, I literally got up, in my pajamas, took a broom and went outside and beat the tree – in the dark. The bird flew away until I was back in bed. I feel your pain!

  19. Oh yes, I was told, one time, that the ones who sing at night are the unmated males! At least my sleepless nights yielded some satisfaction in knowing that this guy was a LOSER!

  20. Poor MissFourEyes! Beaten by an itty bitty bird. hahah! Have you tried getting up in the tree and putting something in there that will scare it away? Without harming it of course. I’ve heard it you tie something shiny (Like an unused CD) that moves with the breeze the birds will not sit there. Just trying to help my friend. 😉

  21. I can relate. The first time I heard the kookaburras who nest in the trees by our bedroom window, I wasn’t sure if what I was hearing was a giggling monkey, a bird or a screaming infant. Now I’m pretty sure kookaburras are the devil’s work.

  22. Ahahaha! I know how annoying this could be because I live across the street from woods and some mornings it sounds like the Bronx Zoo birdhouse. I admire your resourcefulness — I would never have thought to make rotisserie nightingale for the neighborhood dog. My first thought — slingshotting it off the tree limb.

  23. Now that is a truly funny post, the little drawings are priceless to boot.

    I remember a story of a woman who went to South America or Africa, in the beginning she wrote on the most lovely flower in the world flowering right out of her window, 3 months later she mentioned it, at month 12-14 her comment was that damn flower is still in bloom!
    change is so good especially if it is silent change!

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  26. I used to work overnight shifts, so I know every variant of environmental sound that can keep you awake.

    Do you know what’s so much worse than a bird right outside your window?

    The lonesome sound of a single leaf blower starting up in the distance…

  27. I love birds but some of ’em can be a total pain in the butt, particularly at this time of the year when the boys of each species is strutting his stuff and yelling out “this is my tree – not your tree – stay out of it – ‘cos I’m hard”. We don’t have nightingales here, but we do have one hellishly annoying chaffinch called Weety after what he ‘sings’: weet weet weet weet ad nauseum. (Well, actually his lyrics don’t include ‘ad nauseum’ as I don’t think he’d be able to pronounce it.) 😉

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