Food / Life and Other Funny Things

3 Stages of Coffee

About a year ago, I quit coffee. The problem is, I don’t remember why. I’m sure it was a very good reason. Something about it being evil for your body, like acid on a block of wood. But I really just don’t remember.

So I’m back on coffee.


Stage 1: Pre-coffee



Stage 2: Post-Coffee


Now the key is to stay in this stage as long as possible. That’s the thing about the human body, it has this incessant need to digest everything. So what do you do? You have more coffee. And more.

And then some more.

Stage 3: Post-post-coffee



Wake up, start back at Stage 1.

I have no idea why I ever quit!  I love you, Coffee!

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110 thoughts on “3 Stages of Coffee

  1. I drink coffee because I like the way it makes my cream and sugar taste. The caffeine doesn’t really do anything for me, unfortunately.

    My post-coffee panel would be more of a “Rainbows and sprinkles and OH GOD I HAVE TO POOP.”

    I know, I know. TMI.

  2. I live in a sad a world where coffee does nothing to me.
    I can drink coffee before going to be and I sleep as if I had taken Valium, red bull and other drinks like that do the same.
    I feel like I’m being deprived of the joy of being high on something.

  3. Oh Miss Four Eyes you’ve summed up my lifecycle in a blog post 🙂 I’m currently post-rainbowsparkles… but welcome back to the land of the caffeined!

    • Rainbowsparkles is the best part! Post-rainbowsparkles…not so much. Hope you find your way back real soon, although the spinning can be fun. Like a roller-coaster! 🙂

  4. I’ve never been a coffee drinker. The smell alone grosses me out, but those stages used to be me on pop. I’ve noticed working in an office that some people need coffee to function–like seriously, they need it or they’ll go into organ failure. I’ll stick to my water.

  5. The pictures accompanying this blog are priceless. And awesome. I’m not a coffee drinker, though unlike Katie, I do like the smell. But my true love is tea. I can’t function properly without a cup of tea in the morning, and I firmly believe a cup of tea makes any situation better.

    • I love the idea of tea (with a floral printed teacup and saucer, this is important). But no matter how many times I try it, I just can’t seem to like it. How I wish I could though

      • Of course, with the floral printed saucer! I actually have quite the collection of cups, saucers and teapots…that’s too bad. It’s the same for me with coffee. I feel like something that smells so good should taste better, but I just can’t seem to like it.

  6. According to my brain, coffee will also reduce the chance of me killing you for speaking/laughing/breathing near me by approximately 85%

  7. We enjoy a blend of regular coffee blended with Chocolate Mocha coffee. She uses French Vanilla creamer in hers, I drink mine black. Since we are nudist we always enjoy it nude every morning, sometimes on the patio weather permitting or in our sun room and setting at our bar height kitchen island while reading the morning papers or latest mags. Best way to start the day.

  8. Sharing that first cup with you, best way to start the day

    ________________________________ MissFourEyes posted: “About a year ago, I quit coffee. The problem is, I don’t remember why. I’m sure it was a very good reason. Something about it being evil for your body, like acid on a block of wood. But I really just don’t remember. So I’m back on coffee. COFFEEEEEE”

    • Reading research about coffee is so much fun. One says it’s going to kill us, another says it’s the one thing keeping all of human kind alive. But, yeah, moderation is the best.

  9. Hahahaha! I like the spinning picture; it’s like me on coffee all the day long! I limit myself to two cups a day: one in the morning to kick-start my morning-hating arse, and one no later than 3:00 pm to push me through the doldrums. Any more than that and I talk faster than I think; any later and I find myself reading until 3:00 am trying to lull myself to sleep.

    • Haha, that happens to me too. I envy people who can drink coffee at any time of day, but only sort of. I hear they’re the ones that don’t experience the fun spinning, which makes me feel better.

    • I guess it depends on how you react to it. Poor Leo up there experiences nothing, while I won’t be able to sleep until 4 am if I have coffee in the evening (it’s a very hyper, very exciting late night/early morning though).

  10. Is coffee that good ? I never loved tea or coffee until I joined my first job in Mumbai and had too many *vada-pav with a cup of coffee* loving people around me . Loved this post ( and all posts by you) 🙂

  11. I don’t get the spinning… I get the jitters… and I like them. 😀 That’s when I know I’m finally awake and the coffee has done what I needed it to do. Bring on the day!

  12. The psychological pull of coffee is only triggered by the smell and faint effects of caffeine (pretty faint after decades of drinking starting as a child). But that pull is very anti-suicide-kind-of-soothing. I’m just sayin’.

  13. I never started drinking coffee till I was somewhere in my 30’s. Now I drink it all day. Caffeine doesn’t affect me like it does most people. I just like how it tastes and I need my coffee addiction. Hell I have no other addictions except reading and writing, oh and computer time. Ok, so I have a few addictions, but I need my coffee! 😉

  14. I quit coffee when I quit smoking because to me the two went together so well and I didn’t like my chances of staying away from the cancer sticks if I was still drinking coffee. I lasted 6 months and now am back to 4 cups a day. I LOVE coffee!!!!

    • I’m exactly the same Daile! Except I’m back to 2 cups for the moment, but I don’t like the chances of that staying the same!


  15. Haha, oh my God I love this post! Just like you I’ve started drinking coffee again in the last few weeks. And I’m loving it!

    Your pictures are so awesome, always make me laugh 🙂

    *nudie happy coffee drinking hugs!*


  16. I’m sure someone else has mentioned this, but there’s been a lot of studies recently touting the health benefits of coffee. As long as you don’t drink enough to give you heart palpitations, or load it up with cream and sugar, coffee is A-OK.

  17. Once OD’d on coffee in grade 7. Honest to goodness thought I’d have to go to the emergency room OD’d. I was playing pool with ‘the cool kids’ on a Saturday morning and coffee (with free refills!) was the cheapest thing on the menu. Got home, puked, massive dizziness, then for three days anytime I tried to read anything the page was speckled with dozens of tiny dancing rainbow stars. No joke – your rainbow pic was my reality. Don’t do drugs kids. At least not the legal kind lol.

  18. I don’t drink coffee, but my kid does. I am jealous of the transformation it makes in the morning when he has some. Not that I am coercing him to get out of bed or do work for me by offering coffee to him. Oh, no no no. Not me.

  19. People not only love java, they love you, partner!
    Great post!
    By the way, can you drop me an e-mail? I can’t find your e-mail address. (I know, I suck.)

  20. I remember having to give up coffee when I was pregnant with my daughter. Just the thought of a pot brewing would have me vomiting on the spot. Yet, when I was pregnant with my son I was looking for someone to run an IV line from the pot to my arm. Your illustration is spot on to how I felt during those 9 months!

  21. Pingback: Coffee ~ It will keep you alive | theseeker

  22. Pingback: Channeling Sparky | Miss Four Eyes

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  24. Pingback: Coffee ~ It will keep you alive | The Seeker

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