About a year ago, I quit coffee. The problem is, I don’t remember why. I’m sure it was a very good reason. Something about it being evil for your body, like acid on a block of wood. But I really just don’t remember.
So I’m back on coffee.
COFFEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Stage 1: Pre-coffee
Stage 2: Post-Coffee
Now the key is to stay in this stage as long as possible. That’s the thing about the human body, it has this incessant need to digest everything. So what do you do? You have more coffee. And more.
And then some more.
Stage 3: Post-post-coffee
Wake up, start back at Stage 1.
I have no idea why I ever quit! I love you, Coffee!
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Miss Four Eyes 
I drink coffee because I like the way it makes my cream and sugar taste. The caffeine doesn’t really do anything for me, unfortunately.
My post-coffee panel would be more of a “Rainbows and sprinkles and OH GOD I HAVE TO POOP.”
I know, I know. TMI.
You had to go there.
Only kidding, I’m as pro poop talk as they come.
There is nothing like a good poop talk
That’s true.
Haha! I LOVE sugar.
And it’s all good, we are pro-poop here.
(the Movement Movement, because talking about poop is okay http://stuphblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/join-the-movement-movement/ 🙂 )
I can’t wait to put together a good poop post so I can join the Movement Movement.
Can’t wait to see it!
“Spinning, so much spinning” — hahaha! I’m off now to have a cup of some of the strongest coffee this side of the northeast region.
Yay! Enjoy the spinning 😉
Coffffeeeeeeeee! *addicted glaze*
I know that feeling, Jeff. Only drink coffee when a toilet is near!
Haha! Am I the only one who doesn’t go through this? I feel kinda left out now
awwwww you shouldn’t. You’re the lucky one 😉
I live in a sad a world where coffee does nothing to me.
I can drink coffee before going to be and I sleep as if I had taken Valium, red bull and other drinks like that do the same.
I feel like I’m being deprived of the joy of being high on something.
Oh Leo, I’m so sorry.
I like to have coffee with whiskey before bed. I find it soothing.
Oh Miss Four Eyes you’ve summed up my lifecycle in a blog post 🙂 I’m currently post-rainbowsparkles… but welcome back to the land of the caffeined!
Rainbowsparkles is the best part! Post-rainbowsparkles…not so much. Hope you find your way back real soon, although the spinning can be fun. Like a roller-coaster! 🙂
I’ve never been a coffee drinker. The smell alone grosses me out, but those stages used to be me on pop. I’ve noticed working in an office that some people need coffee to function–like seriously, they need it or they’ll go into organ failure. I’ll stick to my water.
Haha! Gotta love those people. The good part is you know exactly how to calm them down, the bad part is what happens when the coffee machine breaks down
Yay coffee! Although I’ve never had the post-post coffee phase really.
That’s good. That stage is bad, real BAD
Yup, coffee. According to the new study, drinking coffee will reduce the risk of suicide by 50%. I’m not ready to die.
I read about that. Good for us I guess?
The pictures accompanying this blog are priceless. And awesome. I’m not a coffee drinker, though unlike Katie, I do like the smell. But my true love is tea. I can’t function properly without a cup of tea in the morning, and I firmly believe a cup of tea makes any situation better.
I love the idea of tea (with a floral printed teacup and saucer, this is important). But no matter how many times I try it, I just can’t seem to like it. How I wish I could though
Of course, with the floral printed saucer! I actually have quite the collection of cups, saucers and teapots…that’s too bad. It’s the same for me with coffee. I feel like something that smells so good should taste better, but I just can’t seem to like it.
According to my brain, coffee will also reduce the chance of me killing you for speaking/laughing/breathing near me by approximately 85%
Haha! And THAT is why coffee is good for everyone’s health.
We enjoy a blend of regular coffee blended with Chocolate Mocha coffee. She uses French Vanilla creamer in hers, I drink mine black. Since we are nudist we always enjoy it nude every morning, sometimes on the patio weather permitting or in our sun room and setting at our bar height kitchen island while reading the morning papers or latest mags. Best way to start the day.
That sounds nice. I can’t do naked coffee, kind of scared to be honest. I’m clumsy and it’s hot, what if I spill it on myself?
If you spill it on yourself you say damn it !!
Sharing that first cup with you, best way to start the day
________________________________ WordPress.com MissFourEyes posted: “About a year ago, I quit coffee. The problem is, I don’t remember why. I’m sure it was a very good reason. Something about it being evil for your body, like acid on a block of wood. But I really just don’t remember. So I’m back on coffee. COFFEEEEEE”
I pick up a mocha latte at Starbucks in the morning. My husband always says when I leave, “Bring back nice Kate and leave cranky Kate there.” Says it all.
Haha! Coffee is like magic in a cup
P.S. May I use one of the pictures for my future post, credit to you?
Sure!
Hilarious! I love the fact that recent research says that coffee is actually good for you – lots of antioxidants (although maybe in moderation?).
Reading research about coffee is so much fun. One says it’s going to kill us, another says it’s the one thing keeping all of human kind alive. But, yeah, moderation is the best.
i totally understand your pain, welcome back to the land of the living!
Thanks! I can’t believe I ever quit!
There’s nothing like pizza to wake you up in the morning. Oh, we’re talking about coffee? sorry about that…
Cold pizza 😉
Cold bitter tasting pizza.
Try cola. It doesn’t have as much caffeine but it can rot your teeth. Sugar + Caffeine = Rainbow Freaking Sparkles!
Two of my favorite things, sugar and caffeine! No worries about the teeth, I have a cute dentist.
Hahahaha! I like the spinning picture; it’s like me on coffee all the day long! I limit myself to two cups a day: one in the morning to kick-start my morning-hating arse, and one no later than 3:00 pm to push me through the doldrums. Any more than that and I talk faster than I think; any later and I find myself reading until 3:00 am trying to lull myself to sleep.
Haha, that happens to me too. I envy people who can drink coffee at any time of day, but only sort of. I hear they’re the ones that don’t experience the fun spinning, which makes me feel better.
As a non-coffee drinker, I have to ask: Is it really that great? I mean, does it really change your whole day around?
I guess it depends on how you react to it. Poor Leo up there experiences nothing, while I won’t be able to sleep until 4 am if I have coffee in the evening (it’s a very hyper, very exciting late night/early morning though).
Is coffee that good ? I never loved tea or coffee until I joined my first job in Mumbai and had too many *vada-pav with a cup of coffee* loving people around me . Loved this post ( and all posts by you) 🙂
Aw, thanks, Archita!
Now I want vada-pav with a cup of coffee…
Obviously, you were temporarily insane. Glad you’re back. Coffee and I love each other much & a lot.
I hear that.
slurp
Can you believe I actually tried to switch to black tea?! Temporary insanity really does make us do crazy things.
yuck
Ooooh I know how that feels.. I probably have to start again too.
Woohoo! We have a convert 🙂
I’m back on coffee!
I don’t get the spinning… I get the jitters… and I like them. 😀 That’s when I know I’m finally awake and the coffee has done what I needed it to do. Bring on the day!
Coffee makes every day better 🙂
The psychological pull of coffee is only triggered by the smell and faint effects of caffeine (pretty faint after decades of drinking starting as a child). But that pull is very anti-suicide-kind-of-soothing. I’m just sayin’.
Soothing is good, really good
There is a tear in my eye reading this post because I had to give up coffee. I miss my love/hate relationship with it.
You had to give up coffee? Oh no! No matter what, though, coffee will always love you, Jen.
I never started drinking coffee till I was somewhere in my 30’s. Now I drink it all day. Caffeine doesn’t affect me like it does most people. I just like how it tastes and I need my coffee addiction. Hell I have no other addictions except reading and writing, oh and computer time. Ok, so I have a few addictions, but I need my coffee! 😉
Haha, yeah I know what you mean. We NEED our coffee! Plus, it does help with the writing so that’s good too
You had me at coffee.
😀
Have you portrayed my life as I also act like that when I’m on coffeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Go cofffeeeeeeeeeee!! 😀
I quit coffee when I quit smoking because to me the two went together so well and I didn’t like my chances of staying away from the cancer sticks if I was still drinking coffee. I lasted 6 months and now am back to 4 cups a day. I LOVE coffee!!!!
I’m exactly the same Daile! Except I’m back to 2 cups for the moment, but I don’t like the chances of that staying the same!
Rohan.
Pretty much my day in a nutshell. Haha!
Your illustrations crack me up so much.
😝
Thanks! Glad you liked them 🙂
Coffee- spinning – poop- in that order?
Am I the only one who doesn’t poop after coffee?!
Haha, oh my God I love this post! Just like you I’ve started drinking coffee again in the last few weeks. And I’m loving it!
Your pictures are so awesome, always make me laugh 🙂
*nudie happy coffee drinking hugs!*
Rohan.
No way! I always figured you for a green tea man, But go COFFEE! 😀
We should have shirts that say: Team Coffee.
*nudie hyper-from-too-much-coffee hugs*
Currently in spinning stage over here…but god forbid we miss a day. The aaaaching.
No! Never miss a day. Ever. It’s too painful.
Love the blog. Reminds me of Hyperbole and a Half. Got your inspiration from her? Follow me if you like, I am following you! 🙂
Thanks, Jennifer!
I love Hyperbole and a Half! Got the inspiration from her and a bunch of other web cartoonists 😉
I’m like Leo, coffee does nothing for me LOL. I can’t understand the buzz people get, or I need 10 coffee’s to keep wake up.. Have a wonderful weekend. Huge Hugs xxxooxx
Mollie and Alfie
No coffee buzz?! Aw man, that’s too bad. But good for you though, you never get to stage 3, which is probably for the best. 😉
*Hyper-from-coffee hugs*
I’m sure someone else has mentioned this, but there’s been a lot of studies recently touting the health benefits of coffee. As long as you don’t drink enough to give you heart palpitations, or load it up with cream and sugar, coffee is A-OK.
That’s good news! Plus, it’s not like I can quit again now that I’m back on it
Once OD’d on coffee in grade 7. Honest to goodness thought I’d have to go to the emergency room OD’d. I was playing pool with ‘the cool kids’ on a Saturday morning and coffee (with free refills!) was the cheapest thing on the menu. Got home, puked, massive dizziness, then for three days anytime I tried to read anything the page was speckled with dozens of tiny dancing rainbow stars. No joke – your rainbow pic was my reality. Don’t do drugs kids. At least not the legal kind lol.
Whoa. That sounds both terrifying and awesome. Just does. 🙂
No permanent damage… except to my innocent enjoyment of all things rainbowed. (and explains why I’ve never messed with LSD lol)
I don’t drink coffee, but my kid does. I am jealous of the transformation it makes in the morning when he has some. Not that I am coercing him to get out of bed or do work for me by offering coffee to him. Oh, no no no. Not me.
Hehe….you’re giving me ideas *rubs palms together supervillian style*
…wait, I’m going to need a kid first. Darn.
People not only love java, they love you, partner!
Great post!
By the way, can you drop me an e-mail? I can’t find your e-mail address. (I know, I suck.)
Eeep! Aw thanks, partner! I love YOU.
Sure thing, right on it.
Love you back, partner.
Thanks!
I remember having to give up coffee when I was pregnant with my daughter. Just the thought of a pot brewing would have me vomiting on the spot. Yet, when I was pregnant with my son I was looking for someone to run an IV line from the pot to my arm. Your illustration is spot on to how I felt during those 9 months!
Rainbows and sparkles for 9 months! 😀
mmmmmmmm…. coffee. I might have to think about this movement movement. It sounds like a good challenge.
I love my coffee too. I drink 3 or 4 large ones a day. 🙂
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Coffee or no coffee, I’m pretty much always at Stage 1
Well if it helps write your awesome lists, then you don’t really need the other stages 🙂
Well, thank you! Your comment just moved me directly into Stage 2. 🙂
Hahaha sweet!
Coffee trippin’!
😀
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