They said that the vacation after college will change my life.
“Won’t it be exactly like any other vacation?” I asked.
“No! This one will COMPLETELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE! Maybe you’ll even fall in love!” she said.
I’m not so sure about the whole love part, but a life changing vacation would be great. I’d like to finally stop wandering around my house saying ‘I have to purpose in life!’. I’m going on vacation this week, and my neighbor and her collection of movies have convinced me that one of the following will happen:
- I’ll find a guy with a sexy foreign accent and we’ll roam around the city until we eventually fall in love. (while I clutch a can of pepper spray the whole time, because stranger danger and all)
- I’ll sit next to Mr.Perfect on the plane and we’ll fall in love during the 4 hour flight. When we land he insists that he accompany me touring the city (which is not suspicious at all). By the time I find out that he’s a jewel thief it’s too late to escape and I’ll have to join a life of crime. (I think I’d look good in black leather)
- I’ll meet a surfer and his passion for the waves will make me fall in love with him…until I find out that he’s a serial killer and he tries to drown me to death.
- I’ll fall off the ship and have to spend 227 days with a crazy adorable and hungry tiger. By the end I will be very sea sick, unable to eat sea food ever again, and I’ll be in love with an imaginary person.
- My entire identity will be stolen and I will cease to exist to the world. (it doesn’t sound so bad really. I’ve always wanted to live as a hippie off the grid and hiding from The Man) (that would also mean no internet, so maybe not)
- There will snakes on the plane. (life changing indeed)
- The plane will crash, we’ll all survive but will be doomed to live on a secluded island until help comes…which it never will. Oh and I’ll fall in love and stuff.
What will actually happen:
- My pale-as-a-computer-geek legs will hopefully be not so pale.
- I’ll eat something that will make me wish death would come sooner.
- I will find sand in my butt.
I’m definitely counting on the last one. The important thing to remember is that I have NOT freaked myself out with all the serial killer/plane crash talk. Nope. I am a-okay.
Yes I am.
So I guess I’ll see you guys around the end of October. I’ll miss you!