Life and Other Funny Things

That Life Changing Vacation

They said that the vacation after college will change my life.

“Won’t it be exactly like any other vacation?” I asked.

“No! This one will COMPLETELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE! Maybe you’ll even fall in love!” she said.

I’m not so sure about the whole love part, but a life changing vacation would be great. I’d like to finally stop wandering around my house saying ‘I have to purpose in life!’. I’m going on vacation this week, and my neighbor and her collection of movies have convinced me that one of the following will happen:

  • I’ll find a guy with a sexy foreign accent and we’ll roam around the city until we eventually fall in love. (while I clutch a can of pepper spray the whole time, because stranger danger and all)
  • I’ll sit next to Mr.Perfect on the plane and we’ll fall in love during the 4 hour flight. When we land he insists that he accompany me touring the city (which is not suspicious at all). By the time I find out that he’s a jewel thief it’s too late to escape and I’ll have to join a life of crime. (I think I’d look good in black leather)
  • I’ll meet a surfer and his passion for the waves will make me fall in love with him…until I find out that he’s a serial killer and he tries to drown me to death.
  • I’ll fall off the ship and have to spend 227 days with a crazy adorable and hungry tiger. By the end I will be very sea sick, unable to eat sea food ever again, and I’ll be in love with an imaginary person.
  • My entire identity will be stolen and I will cease to exist to the world. (it doesn’t sound so bad really. I’ve always wanted to live as a hippie off the grid and hiding from The Man) (that would also mean no internet, so maybe not)
  • There will snakes on the plane. (life changing indeed)
  •  The plane will crash, we’ll all survive but will be doomed to live on a secluded island until help comes…which it never will. Oh and I’ll fall in love and stuff.

What will actually happen:

  • My pale-as-a-computer-geek legs will hopefully be not so pale.
  • I’ll eat something that will make me wish death would come sooner.
  • I will find sand in my butt.

I’m definitely counting on the last one. The important thing to remember is that I have NOT freaked myself out with all the serial killer/plane crash talk. Nope. I am a-okay.

Yes I am.

…kind of.

So I guess I’ll see you guys around the end of October. I’ll miss you!


87 thoughts on “That Life Changing Vacation

  1. I hope your geek legs get a tan, there are no snakes, you get sand in your butt – the nicest possible way, you don’t get food poisoning, you meet THE man and fall desperately in love and he won’t drown you, you get ship wrecked on a lonely island wearing black leather with THAT man. Phew now that I have run out of breath with that sentence. Enjoy your holiday and RELAX!

  2. Have a great vacation! And don’t forget the wise words of Bilbo Baggins: “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” (or apparently, who you’ll fall in love with).

    P.S. I’m still finding sand in my clothes or random places from my ocean vacation two years ago. The sand while stay with you, if nothing else does.

    See you at the end of October!

  3. I hope that none of your predicted ‘cons’ come true and that it actually is a life changing get-away!! (Good for you on remembering stranger danger LOLZ)

  4. Most people aren’t serial killers. Have a great vacation. What ‘getting away” usually allows you to do is look at your life from the outside and allow you to fix what you don’t like or see where you might want to go to be happy. Have fun, talk to strangers, enjoy the experience, it will change your life as much as you want it to. I am rooting for a great experience that although you will get sand in uncomfortable places will allow you to reflect, on your life and have fun. 🙂 Looking forward to hearing all about the beach, surfing, serial killers and identity theft when you get back.

    • Sand in uncomfortable places = reflection on life. Now that is fantastic (uncomfortable, but fantastic). 😀
      I’m hoping that if anything, meeting a serial killer/getting lost at sea/sand in my butt will at least give a great story to tell for the rest of my life. Which is pretty great.

    • Those pesky socks. I just know they’re going to try to get away. I can almost hear them plotting an escape now, “vacation forever!” they’re saying.
      Thanks, Seeker 😉

    • I’ll miss all of you! Pictures of Sad Pony and Squirrel are etched in my heart, tell them not to worry. But I’d love some pictures anyway 🙂
      I’m going to south-east Asia. Okay, south-er of east Asia. Singapore and some other places around there.

  5. Have a good life changing vacation, while I have a life alteringly bitter time at work that causes me to accidently get hypnotized and steal from my job. And I will meet a girl that looks like Jennifer Aniston that works at an Applebee’s type of restaurant that has a lot of flair. At least it will be life changing.

    • I’ll take your word for it, Steph. I always figured it would be painful. When I think of sex on the beach I imagine it would go like this:
      “Eeck! I’m getting sand in my butt!”
      “Ow! Baby was that you?”
      “No. It’s a crab! AAhh!”

  6. i think it’s entirely likely likely that you fall in love with the foreign stranger on your plane and then move to a third country together so that you can both ‘start again somewhere new.’ you’ll probably have to learn a new language as a result, but it’s okay because you can learn together.

  7. Butt, butt, I only just found you (sigh) life is beautiful and cruel at once. Oh well, have an awesome time, look forward to reading all about it in November. Love yer shit (I mean poop). REDdog

  8. Have fun on your vacation, but do not join the life of crime, until you’ve properly sand-proofed your butt. If you don’t, the police could easily track you down by following a thin line of sand 🙂

  9. Enjoy your vacations, love is unlikely to happen, but give a chance to lust.
    Take plenty of imodium just in case, I always do, so far I haven’t come to need it but you never know.
    We’ll be here when you come back ready for the “vacation brief”.

  10. Hope the vacation is lots of fun, definitely more sexy, psycho surfers and less butt sand!

    I so love the idea of being stuck on an island, loved reading Robinson Crusoe! But the practicality of it may be a little different…

    Have a great time Missy, you’d better blog about your adventures when you get back 🙂

    *Big sandy nudie hugs!*


    • There was a very equal amount of sexy, psycho surfers and butt sand, that’s good right?

      I’m torn between wanting to be stuck on an island and not. On one hand there would be no internet, so peaceful. On the other hand, no internet?! *shudder*

      *big sandy tanned nuddie hugs*

  11. I’ll sit next to Mr.Perfect on the plane and we’ll fall in love during the 4 hour flight.

    I’ve always wanted to fall in love on a flight somewhere. I call it Seatmate Lottery. Once, I sat next to a really cute girl on her way back to Israel, but we only got as far as being Facebook buddies, not love.


  12. Such a funny blog! Hope you had a wonderful time. Reminds me of that line by Dave Attel

    I was on a date yesterday with this beautiful woman. We saw a film together and had dinner. Then the plane landed.

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