How many of you were in bed by 12:02? Come on, say it. This is a safe place.
I feel like I’m getting old. Remember back when we could stay up until 4 am and still have the physical strength to ask everyone “What do you want to do next?!”? Those were good times.
Celebrating the New Year, the MFE way:
To be fair, I pre-celebrated with some friends. Technically, the countdown was going on somewhere in the world. Plus, nobody wants to start 2014 in traffic. Right? Riiight? Somebody agree with me just to make me feel better.
Everyone’s started bugging me about my resolution this year. I thought long and hard about it, and disassociating myself from people who make New Year’s resolutions is just too much work.
I’m really not much of a resolution kind of person. Is it just me or do you not like watching yourself fail miserably either? Every time I say that I didn’t make any, people give me that condescending look. Have you ever been at the receiving end of that look? It’s the worst! Like all of a sudden the line between good and bad solely rests on whether or not you’ve made a life changing decision that you will inevitably give up on in three weeks. Well, I’ll show them.
I figured it’d just be easier to make some actual resolutions, so here goes:
- I will set three different alarms on my phone, even if it’s just to disable them one after the other.
- I will sleep in more. Early birds get eaten by much bigger animals.
- I will use the online magic 8 ball to make important decisions in life.
- I will not try to read Shakespeare.
- I will draw more cartoons on paper napkins.
- I will not even pretend to try to lose weight.
- I will give in to the sugar cravings.
- I will not use the office’s 1st floor bathroom.
- I will procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
- I will not date a celebrity.
- I will brag about how I managed to stick to all my resolutions in 2015.
Happy New Year, everybody! I hope you get everything you want from this year. I have a feeling that 2014 is going to be a good one.
Did you make any resolutions? Real ones, funny ones, non-resolutions, anything. Tell me about them.