Life and Other Funny Things

Hello, 2014

How many of you were in bed by 12:02? Come on, say it. This is a safe place.

I feel like I’m getting old. Remember back when we could stay up until 4 am and still have the physical strength to ask everyone “What do you want to do next?!”? Those were good times.

Celebrating the New Year, the MFE way:

New Year 1 New Year 2 New Year 3

To be fair, I pre-celebrated with some friends. Technically, the countdown was going on somewhere in the world. Plus, nobody wants to start 2014 in traffic. Right? Riiight? Somebody agree with me just to make me feel better.


Everyone’s started bugging me about my resolution this year. I thought long and hard about it, and disassociating myself from people who make New Year’s resolutions is just too much work.

I’m really not much of a resolution kind of person. Is it just me or do you not like watching yourself fail miserably either? Every time I say that I didn’t make any, people give me that condescending look. Have you ever been at the receiving end of that look? It’s the worst! Like all of a sudden the line between good and bad solely rests on whether or not you’ve made a life changing decision that you will inevitably give up on in three weeks. Well, I’ll show them.

I figured it’d just be easier to make some actual resolutions, so here goes:

  1. I will set three different alarms on my phone, even if it’s just to disable them one after the other.
  2. I will sleep in more. Early birds get eaten by much bigger animals.
  3. I will use the online magic 8 ball to make important decisions in life.
  4. I will not try to read Shakespeare.
  5. I will draw more cartoons on paper napkins.
  6. I will not even pretend to try to lose weight.
  7. I will give in to the sugar cravings.
  8. I will not use the office’s 1st floor bathroom.
  9. I will procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
  10. I will not date a celebrity.
  11. I will brag about how I managed to stick to all my resolutions in 2015.

Happy New Year, everybody! I hope you get everything you want from this year. I have a feeling that 2014 is going to be a good one.

Did you make any resolutions? Real ones, funny ones, non-resolutions, anything. Tell me about them.

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97 thoughts on “Hello, 2014

  1. I did not even make it to midnight, but I think I could be setting a record for consecutive years in a row that this has happened. See, there really is always a bright side. I love your list, especially using the Magic 8 ball….I remember using it for dating decisions, the thing is brilliant!
    All the best to you for 2014!

  2. that’s very interesting. I have two alarms on my phone, you’re not the only one LOL. I like all your resolutions, they’re different to say the least. Happy New Year 🙂

  3. Haha! I love your resolutions. 🙂 It’s 5am here and I’m still not quite in bed so I feel young! On the other hand, I’m wearing a fleece robe and took my vitamins… so it’s possible that I’m just so old I’ve come around full circle. 😉 Happy 2014!

  4. I like your list! I think I may take some of your resolutions, they may be ones that I can actually keep for once LOL.

    The multiple alarm thing does really work if you are like me and a cranky waker on work days 🙂

    • That look is terrible. I think it’s comparable to the “You don’t donate blood?!” look, maybe even worse than that. We should make some of our own looks, “You don’t feed the pigeons?!” and “You use the office’s 1st floor bathroom?!”.

      Happy New Year, Jaded! I hope it’s a fantastic one.

  5. The look that people give me when I tell them I haven’t made any resolutions, terrifies me.
    Your resolutions are great! Something that I think you can easily achieve 😉 Happy New Year!

  6. I will set three different alarms on my phone, even if it’s just to disable them one after the other.

    I do that *now.* I’m terrible at the “waking up” part of sleeping and I frequently need a spatula to get myself out of bed.

    Happy new year!

    • When my dog was a puppy, she’d wake me up with some clever ploy at 5 am every morning. Now, we’re both too lazy to wake up unless it’s Saturday. Saturday is like a magical day where time doesn’t exist.

      Happy New Year to you too, Steven! I really hope it’s a good one 🙂

  7. A few years ago, someone said, “Don’t make a resolution, make an intention….. That way there’s no pressure and you won’t fail.” You know what I learned? Intention is just another word for resolution….. My intentions of 2013 failed miserably, just like all of my many resolutions in New Years past. This year? No intentions. No resolution. Just two keywords: Forward Motion. I simply want to move forward and make progress on my deepest heart felt desires.

    I heart your resolutions , by the way! Thanks for the laugh!

    Happy New Year!

  8. Happy New Year MFE!!! I like being a rebel so I don’t make resolutions, look or not. I just give them a look back, as I’m famous for my ‘looks’. hahaha! I love your list though. Smart girl!

  9. I was in bed for midnight too! I’ve made fairly boring resolutions, like saving money and finishing off things I started!

    • Ahh, the finishing things I’ve started resolution. I tried that one year. It was about finishing this really horrible book. It’s been six years since, didn’t work out too well.
      I hope yours turn out nothing like that. I hope that yours are far more successful. Lots of luck!

  10. Happy New Year to you too lovely. Yes I was ..though I think it was 12:07am… hey hun it’s 12…oh is it? Lean over on the couch after watching DVD’s for the night (yeah our NYE rocked!) quick kiss, tired? Yup. Bed? Yup…zzzzz 🙂 x

  11. Haha your illustrations hold truth!!!
    I’m not particularly a resolution person either but I have some vague goals for myself for the year… And just before the 1st of Jan I started the habit of writing at least 1000 words per day and then on the 1st I challenged myself on Goodreads to read 50 books during 2014!
    Happy new year!

  12. I made it until one-ish, but I’m a night owl and I took a nap during the day. (I would’ve been up later if I drank tea instead of wine, but I thought I should celebrate by finishing off that bottle of pinot noir.)

    I’ve only made two resolutions that I may or may not share. But yours are definitely way better. 🙂

  13. I stayed up until 5.30am and regretted it woefully when my toddler woke up at 7am. I am totally steeling your resolution about the online magic 8 ball. My life will now be completely ruled by it.

  14. I was in bed by 9PM! And it was still 2014 when I woke up the next day – go figure.
    I also resolve to use the magic 8 ball for all my important decisions and I may or may not date a celebrity — well, maybe not b/c I’m married…..

    I resolve to stay the same awesome person I was in 2013!

  15. I spent New Years Eve on the sofa, watching movies and waiting for the fireworks. I kind of just like ehrm – this is awkward to write to some one – hate New Years. I don’t know why, it’s a hyped up evening. And people blow up sooooo much money on fireworks. I don’t get it.

    But anyways, wishing you a great 2014!

    • No, no, I completely get that. I think it’s because it’s hyped up to be something that blows your mind, so your mind is pre-blown, but after the countdown ends you go “huh, that was it?”- mind un-blown.
      A very happy 2014 to you too, Maggie! Here’s to a great year 🙂

    • I almost want to take you up on that dare, but it would mean not being able to do #11. Celebrity or resolution bragging? I should ask the magic 8 ball….
      Ha! It said ‘Yes definitely’ to will I break resolution #10. This is going to be an interesting year. 😉

  16. Long ago, I made the resolution not to make resolutions anymore, since you never stick to them anyway. This one I did, piece of cake!

    About #6: judging by the picture adorning your “5×5 With The Hook,” you certainly don’t need to lose weight. You might even need to gain some.

    Happy new year to my favorite bespectacled Barbarian Jaggles! Yes, I know there’s only one of you, but still…

    • That is the best resolution of all time.

      2014 is going to be all about eating as much cake as I can handle! (also, aww, thanks 🙂 )

      Happy new year to you too, bfg666! You are one of my favorite commentors, you always make me smile. I hope this year brings you everything you want and so much more.

      • Well thank you! You’re one pretty funny chick yourself, I’m glad to make you smile back.

        Cake rules! (also, you’re welcome) Due to all these scary skinny models and pop stars, girls tend to fail to realize many men like them with at least a little meat on their bones. You don’t have to starve yourselves for us, ladies.

        I’m afraid one whole life wouldn’t be quite enough to get everything I want. What I want most is to be an interstellar explorer (cue “Intergalactic” by the Beastie Boys) but I guess I’m gonna have to pass on that… *repeatedly bangs head on keyboardbmskfffgdmbllqbqksfnqbùlbqe*

  17. People gave you a look for not making any resolutions?
    When people ask me, I always scoff and say, “I don’t need to wait for the new year to fix something. If I want to change something I just do it. So, no, I have no resolutions for the year.” (pause) “But, maybe I should find some different people to hang out with”
    Your list is pretty stellar though.
    I think my list would be something like:
    1. Eat cake at least twice a year. (my birthday and the queens birthday, and if we make one for the Little Prince for his 1st birthday in a couple months that will be a bonus).
    2. Watch as much Big Bang Theory as I can. (Because awesome.)
    3. Eat at least two meals a day.
    4. Get up within an hour of my alarm going off.
    5. Never set an alarm on the weekend unless backpacking or snowboarding or beach volleyball are involved.
    6. Do some of that blogging stuff.
    7. Go camping.
    8. Go backpacking.
    9. Realize that not all lists have to have ten items in them.

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