Life and Other Funny Things

The Tooth Yanking

I had my molar yanked out on Sunday. They sugar-coat it and say “oral surgery”, but really it’s just good ol’ yanking. With some really good anesthesia of course.

Oh how I love anesthesia.

MFE dentist

[click to enlarge]

After we were done, the dentist asked me if I wanted to see my tooth. Sure, I said. What else are you supposed to say?
Lesson learned. Always say no.

MFE dentist 2

Blood and gums. Massacre of the Tooth. Every time my cheek hurts, the image of my bloody tooth flashes before me.

“Would you like to take your tooth home, hun?” the dentist’s assistant said as she lifted up my tooth, gums and all. “You could get it encased in silver and wear it around your neck!” She waved the thing in my face and showed me her silver tooth necklace.

“Er, I’m not much of a jewelry person. Thanks.” I said (okay, tried to say with a cotton ball in my mouth). With my head all loopy, I remember briefly wondering if she was the tooth fairy. Now, I’m starting to wonder if it was really her tooth or if she just collects them for fun. You think mine is in a drawer somewhere in her house? Patient 225: Bottom left molar.

Nah. She probably made earrings.

I went to work yesterday looking like my face grew another face. The whole being an adult thing doesn’t let me stay at home on the grounds of “No way in hell am I stepping out looking like this!”. Sigh.

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90 thoughts on “The Tooth Yanking

  1. Ouch – sorry shouldn’t laugh but this was hysterical …yay for anaesthesia – I had my 4 taken out at once in Hospital, next few days resembled a character frog or the Godfather – but all ok – think I would have puked if I was offered them to take home. You did good girl 🙂

  2. After I had my appendix out my family told me that while I was in the recovery room the doctor asked if I wanted to see my appendix and my response was to throw up. I would probably have the same reaction to the tooth.

    • It is, they’re should be a warning or something.
      “Warning: Graphic blood spatter ahead”
      I’m surprisingly good, Steph, thanks 🙂 Must be the pain meds. I bet it’s going to hurt like crazy once I run out of them.

  3. I’m sorry to hear that you had to go through this experience, Miss Eleven Molars. 🙂
    Also, I hope that if dental assistant got your tooth, she only wears it for special occasions.

  4. I had a fatty tumor on my hip taken out under local anesthesia. First off, don’t do local, it’s just not as fun. I said yes and he put this piece of yellow gooey stuff next to my head. I passed out. As it turns out fatty tumors look a lot like chicken fat. I am not big on mouth and teeth stuff. They always try to open my mouth further than it opens. I often wonder if I’ll ever get it shut again (and so do my friends!). Hope you’re feeling better and yes, being an adult is a bummer sometimes.

    • Local anesthesia is the party pooper of anesthesias.
      Chicken fat, huh? I don’t think I would have been able to look at chicken the same way. But, ow, that sounds painful (and worse because of the party pooper)

  5. The professor sends his condolences! The loss of a tooth is never an easy issue. The tray is too familiar red indeed! There is light at the end of the tunnel; hang in the dark as long as you need too! It helps that you have a Punchyish nature to cope don’t you think?

  6. I had a different molar yanked out not too long ago, as you know, but what I didn’t tell you was that the dentist was talking to his assistant about his upcoming assistant about his upcoming vacation. If I wasn’t already nervous enough (they numbed my mouth but didn’t actually give me anesthesia) THAT sure made me freak out more. Fortunately, he wasn’t already mentally on vacation… and no one offered to show me my tooth. Phew!

  7. Wearing your own tooth as jewelry seems weird, but wearing someone else’s tooth as jewelry could mean she’s crazy in my opinion. Or maybe its just a fashion trend that I don’t know about …..
    Hope you recover soon. You can eat all the ice-cream you want now so that’s great I believe! 🙂

  8. Feel better! At least that’s one problem down. I don’t think I’d want anything to do with a tooth that would cause me such aggravation — aaaghhhh!

  9. Bless you girl! I have had that done…no fun! I had to have a root canal once and they gave me gas instead of trying to numb it up (that had not worked on previous visits). I asked if I would feel anything and he said..”You might, but you won’t care!” ha ha ha! You know what?? That man was right!!!! 🙂

  10. Why do they always ask you if you want to keep the thing they removed? And they ask like it’s a normal question.

    “No thanks, this isn’t Silence of the Lambs. I don’t collect body parts.”

    • Right? Her question makes me wonder how many people say yes to it.
      “You could get it encased in silver and wear it around your neck!”
      “Yeah! That’s a great idea, and not weird at all!”

  11. Dang I love your writing and images! I only read your posts on bad days, then I can honestly say, YES something good did happen today, someone made me smile!
    Thank you !

  12. Yup, anesthesia is great but not the after effect. Keep the tooth for future use. Apparently your DNA in the middle might be handy or you can sell it for scientific use.

  13. Reminds me I need to get some toothwork done sometime. I have to stop postponing my call to the dentist. Come on, Self, be brave and get a hold of yourself!

  14. I’m one of the lucky humans to now have problems with the wisdom teeth.
    I went to the dentist 2 years ago when I turned 17 (play along), and asked him, concerned, why I’m wasn’t experiencing any pains or discomfort, everybody around was complaining about a molar.
    Am I normal doctor?
    Well, you have a big jaw, all your teeth are out, wisdom included.
    I felt left out, like misfit.
    You should have kept the tooth, get a second one and it’d be the perfect Christmas gift.

    • I bet it was really hard growing up with all those molar-less kids, what with they’re all-you-can-eat ice cream and everything.

      The perfect Christmas gift, like a matching set of earrings right?!

  15. Sorry about your tooth! I had a deep crack in one of my molars, and the dentist said there was no saving it. I had drugs to dull the pain, but was awake the whole time. It was TERRIBLE. When I saw my tooth on the tray afterwards I suddenly had some weird attachment to it, and started crying.

    Hope your mouth is feeling okay! It can be really sore afterwards.

    • Was your reaction kind of like “My baby! I can’t believe you were inside me.”? ‘Cause I vaguely remember thinking something along those lines.

      I really felt it the other day when my pain meds ran out. Ohhhh the pain! It’s much better now though 🙂

  16. RIP Molar! I too was fine until I glimpsed at the “tray of blood & instruments” I was just glad I was in a dentist office and not in some abandoned warehouse with a crazy person. Oh yea because that’s where this head goes! Feel better soon : )

  17. I have a lot of bad memories of getting teeth pulled when I was younger. It’s a terrible feeling, feeling it get yanked back and forth. What type of anesthetic did you get? I’ve only had the Novocaine which usually but sometimes not enough.

    • It is a terrible feeling. Especially when you open your eyes in the middle and watch the dentist pull our some giant equipment.
      I wish I could remember, but have no idea what I got. I know I loved it though. Hardly felt a thing until later that night.

  18. Hehee – so great! Hope your mouth is feeling better. The emotional trauma will, of course, take longer to fade, along with that macabre image of the tooth/gum necklace proposal. And you soooo know it wasn’t the first time that assistant had made the joke. Or was it a joke? I hear Ke$ha is totally into making toothsome accessories – but I’m not sure we should be taking fashion advice from someone who literally wore a garbage bag to the VMAs!

    When I had my wisdom teeth torn out (one was growing in sideways, go figure – I must be related to Picasso somewhere up the family tree lol), the left side of my jaw turned mustard yellow and brown from the bruising. There I was, working as a cashier at Home Depot, the new poster child for domestic violence and career aspirations. Sigh – because you’re right, we just can’t days off for dignity anymore~

    • Mine was pulled out for growing in sideways too. What’s with our crazy teeth? Don’t they know which way they should be growing?
      But ouch! I hope you told the customers giving you weird looks a funny story. Mine was a fist fight that I clearly won/an alien’s going to pop out of my cheek at any moment.

      • Yours was growing in sideways too?! Maybe, just maybe, if you and I hadn’t had them pulled a darling little alien really would have burst out. Can’t be a genetic fluke to have such a convenient, laterally aimed escape pod for hitching a ride in a homosapien. Hmmm the latter sort of weirdness is exactly why I didn’t try any non-dentistry related stories with my customers! lolz

        • Haha, I think you should try it, your customers might end up loving it 🙂
          But, aw man! I really wanted to meet an alien. My only chance got yanked out…..the other three molars are still there. Fingers crossed!

  19. When I got my wisdom teeth out, my drugs were arranged by a travel agent. I had all four out at one time, and to this day, I don’t remember roughly twelve hours of that day.

    I hope you’re feeling better.

  20. Hilarious! Had all 4 wisdom teeth surgically excised last year for my 45th birthday. My wife had to drive me home. Upon exiting my truck, I proceeded to puke up the pint of blood I swallowed in my driveway, to which my wife replied “oh my god! The neighbors are going to think you’re drunk or high!”.

    To which I replied (loudly), “f*** tha neighbors! I just hurled a pint of blood! Get me in the house already!” However, the percocets made it a big more bearable! Again, luv tha flow of thought in the beginning doodle! Am enjoying the hell out of your work. Glad we met!

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