Anxiety and Other Awkwardness

Social Awkwardness: The Dating Edition

I’ve been gone for a really long time. Miss Four Eyes has been swamped you guys. I’ve been packing all my stuff to get ready to move to a whole new country (more on that later). But I’ve missed you so much! Don’t worry though, I’m not nearly ready to forget about my blog just yet. While I was out in the real world I was doing research on something I’ve always been good at: social awkwardness.

You Know You’re Socially Awkward When…

  1. You frequently greet people you are romantically interested in with “Hilo!” where you meant to sound casual with ‘Hi’ but your brain ended up saying ‘Hello’. *facepalm*
  2. On other occasions you might say ‘Hi’, but far too many times.
  3. Your best pick up lines sound like Yoda trying to lay the moves a beautiful alien woman.
    Yoda Flirting [sexy Yoda head by Danny Beckwith]
  4. You tend to talk a lot when you’re nervous. It isn’t so bad until you bring up Armageddon and how the world will cease to exist before we know it.
    Dinner Awkwardness
  5. Text-flirting is the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Second, of course, to actual flirting.
    Text flirting
  6. After perfectly wonderful dates, you over-analyze everything that the other person said.
    Overanalyzing dates
  7. Social interaction is clearly difficult for you, and body contact more so. Kissing isn’t spontaneous, it’s a carefully thought out process
    Awkward Kissing pie chart:
    Awkward kissing pie chart

What is the most awkward thing you’ve ever done on a date?



81 thoughts on “Social Awkwardness: The Dating Edition

    • hehe, yeah I hear you. If only there was some kind of dating instruction manual, or better yet, maybe like a director of a never-ending life play. You say something stupid and the director yells “Cut!” and you get to redo your line with something better.

  1. Where you moving too?? Good luck in all you do! I sure hope you don’t give up on your blog, I’ve always enjoyed reading it. As for social awkwardness. I understand completely. I’m the same way. 🙂

    • To the Middle East for a few months, and then off to Australia. So excited! I’ll be about 30 minutes away from the beach! Where I’m hoping I’ll find blog material for awkwardness on the beach. So not going to quit blogging anytime soon, not to worry Jackie, I’d miss you guys too much! 🙂

  2. LOL! I really like your pictures. When ever I read stuff like this I’m really greatful that I don’t need to go on dates anymore (because I’m married). I’m so Socially Akward.

    • You are incredibly lucky for not having to date anymore! I’ve nearly given up trying not to be awkward. This is me, awkward is what I do best. Why try to be anything but? 🙂

  3. The most awkward first date I ever had was a water park….no kidding! I was really surprised when he came to pick me up and asked if I had a swimsuit! Really? Because I had just spent an hour and a half on makeup and hair for this dude and he wanted me to go mess it all up at a Water Park????? OMG! Do you know how hard it is to look good with wet hair and eye makeup dripping down your face..? ugh!

  4. Hmmmm….I did recognize myself here. Especially the over analyzing. Men are so simple. They just say what they mean. We just can’t believe it’s that easy so we make up scenarios. I think I got married so I didn’t have to date anymore!

  5. Sober? I catapulted a fork in the middle of TGIFriday’s into my date’s lap. He ended up being the guy I married…and then divorced.

  6. Most awkward? That would probably be when at he end of the date we were sitting in my car and I started to take her hand in mine. She moved her hand at the last moment and ended up giving her thigh a firm squeeze. There was a decided lack of muscle tone on her part…at first.

    • Haha! I accidentally did a crotch graze. It was the end of the date, and he’d walked me to my door. I was talking animatedly about something and spun around too quickly before he could step back, and then it just happened, the super awkward crotch graze.

  7. Missed these posts!
    The most awkward moment on a date for me was the “pee on me” whisper.
    All the best with the moving thing.

  8. Awkward on a date? Well, let’s see. Does watching Transfomers the Movie (the original cartoon version) and discussing the matrix of leadership and how it is relevant to real life leadership, count as awkward? Just letting you know what a friend of mine did.

    • Hehe, you would be surprised how completely normal that is in business school. Did you ever draw the matrix on a napkin to help your date understand better? Friend of mine did that.

  9. Tongue is just 5%?!!? awww man!!
    My most awkward moment would be this one time when i pulled up a chair for my lovely date, and guess what she does? she does not notice it and just goes and sits on the chair opposite. I am standing behind the chair i pulled for a full minute before she realizes.

    Then comes the part when one pretend anything awkward ever happened! That way dates are never awkward for me…

    • Gee, Vinay, maybe she was just, er, really lost in your eyes. So mesmerized by those big brown eyes that she didn’t even notice the chair! Yeah, that’s probably what happened.

      You pretend nothing awkward ever happened? Hey look, a butterfly!

  10. Missed your posts MFE! 🙂
    As for this, well I can hope none of this happens to me when I get out into the world of dating. But lets be honest, it will happen. There is no escape!

    • I wish I could tell you otherwise but there really is no escape, Keerthi! Just go with the awkwardness, those are the dates that’ll make you laugh the hardest years later. 😀
      Miss ya, Keerthi 🙂

    • See that sounds perfect. Simple, easy, wonderful, that’s what it should be like. On dates he’ll be all “Oh tell me more!” when he clearly doesn’t care while I blabber on trying to come up with interesting things to say before the awkward silence settles

  11. I got asked out on a date once by this really hot guy to go on a double date. He brought his boyfriend and brother. It took me a while to figure out who I was supposed to be set up with…… 😩 Happy moving, I hope you like us in Australia when you get here!

    • Haha! Okay, now that is one I haven’t heard before. 😀

      Thanks! I’m so excited to move there and see all the incredible places! One of these days I’m going to ask all the Australian bloggers to list out the best things to eat in Australia. What’s your favorite?

      • Well, apart from meat pies, Vegemite and Tim Tams, there’s not really Australian cuisine as such, but let me know which city you will be in when you get there and I can give you a run down….. I am a good foodie 😛

  12. Wow what an adventure ! I recently moved to australia as well (from a very beachy place called nz) but it’s absolutely beautiful. Dw all the hot surfers will for sure inspire some socially awkward blog posts 😉

  13. So funny, in a truthfully awkward way. A date came to pick me up at my house and presented me with a HUGE flower arrangement. Like the ones you see at perhaps a funeral or wedding that are arranged in an oversized container. My head nearly exploded with all the thoughts about where the hell he found the flowers and why he thought it was a good idea to present them to me.

    All the best on your next venture!!

  14. Hey Miss Four Eyes! Good to see you around again. I’ve missed you, so as soon as I saw your post in my email, I read it. I understand though, since I just moved from one country to another too. Good luck on everything!

    I think the most awkward thing I ever did on a date was on my first date in middle school. I was too nervous to kiss her on the lips at the end, so I went for the cheek but kissed her just below her eye. And all my friends were there too, with all their dates. *sigh

    • Thanks, David! So glad to be back, I’ve missed reading your Friday Fictioneers. Hope the move was good. All the paperwork is driving me nuts!

      Ahh middle school, what awkward times. The best part about middle school was that both the people on the date are just as awkward, so wasn’t as bad. The most awkward part came after the date, at school the next day “OMG! Did he kiss you on the lips? Did he French?! Did he, did he, did heee?!”

  15. When a guy I wasn’t exactly attracted to put his hand on my knee/thigh area and felt the end of my hold-it-all-in pants I was mortified he’d know! However, he thought they were garters and was turned on! 😉 Glad I knew he’d never find out the truth!

  16. In high school, I had a huge crush on a guy, and during lunch he smiled at me, so I smiled back and iced tea ran out of my mouth thru my teeth and down my chin. I hoped death would claim me immediately. I did end up dating him, and he turned out to be a narcissistic jerk…which was too bad. But I’ll never forget tea running down my chin…sigh….

    • It’s moments like that when I wish I had a superpower, nothing fancy, just the ability to become invisible. Did he see me, or was I just an illusion? Nobody will ever know!

  17. As always, freakin adorable (bet u get tired of hearing that).

    So, I went out with this chick (friend of a friend) back in the 80s. She reminded like Lita Ford. In a most embarrassing Freudian slip, I complimented her on how much she looked like Lita Porn. Fortunately, she shared my warped sense of humor. No second date, though!

  18. Hahaa! I’ve been away, too, and hope your move is going well!

    I’ve missed reading your writing, a lot! This one really cracked me up. I could completely relate…especially to #6, over-analyzing what he said. Sometimes, I would over-analyze what I said, too; so much so that if it weren’t for chocolate, I may be living in a white padded room…

  19. I would say the most awkward thing I just did on a date was said I’d go to his place for tea (when I didn’t like him) and then used the fact that the tram was going to take 10 min to get there as an excuse to go home. Seriously – good thing it was dark, I was blushing at how awkward I was at getting away…

    Where are you moving to?????!!!?!?

  20. I just love your posts!! I swear I’d swing out pretty far on my orientation-0-meter just to go on a spectacularly awkward first date with such a pro hehee. Do you get all your perspective suitors to do a crash course on your blog to prep? But then they’d fall in love with you before you’d even get a chance to stick that stick foot in your mouth – and where would be the fun in that!

    I am, like, soooo, like, never, totally maybe awkward on a date…whatever ~wink. However, on one of our first dates my hubby to be took me out to Reggae night and ripped a giant hole in my expensive punk tights while getting out of the cab, then he actually, full-on, got gum (not even any kissing involved!) stuck in my very long, very blonde hair… no joke, just like in the movies. We had to borrow scissors from the bartender and go to work on the mess. Not cool. Not cool at all. I believe that was the very same night I drunkenly tackled him on the curb and he fell backwards under a parked car. What can I say? The course of true love ne’er runs smooth….

    Best of luck with your new endeavors!!

  21. Congratulations! I have just given you the Very Inspiring Blog Award. Of course, you are under no obligation to accept it, but if you do please visit my blog to find the award and the rules for acceptance. Whatever your decision, let me thank you for being a constant inspiration to your readers! 🙂

  22. Some years ago in the pre-internet days I made contact with a woman through a personal ad in the classifieds of a free weekly newspaper. As we talked on the phone (you would respond to the personal ad by calling a number and leaving a voicemail), we agreed to meet, so I asked her what she looked like. I thought this was an innocent question because I had no idea what her appearance was, something I figured I’d need to know since we were meeting at a somewhat crowded and open place. She then lectured me about how wrong and shallow it is to judge people because of what they look like on the outside. We did meet, but that disagreement hung in the air and made for an awkward situation. Maybe I should’ve phrased the question differently. Live and learn. 🙂

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