I go to an MBA school. People have such weird notions about MBA students, I just don’t get it. Most think we’re all snooty, up-tight, and always wear trousers and polo shirts. Um, no. What we really are is broke, sleepy, and exhausted (from case studies and keggers).
So here goes, 1o things I’ve learnt from MBA school so far:
- The greatest battle you will have is Food vs Sleep
- Work is just like high school, and MBA school is just like high school too. There are cliques, mean girls, and a principle that will threaten to expel you. The only problem this time around is that you’re actually afraid of being expelled ‘cause of your mountain-high student loans.
- MBA’s are ruthless not because we’re greedy. It’s ’cause we’re broke like crazy and we HAVE to be successful if we want to even dream of paying off our loans in the next 7 years.
- The quality of lectures is directly determined by the amount of students sleeping in class. The better the sleep, the better the class.
- Efficiency is everything.
- You can relate economic theories to your bowel movements. It’s actually easier than you think.
- Getting less than 4 hours of sleep is completely normal. This comes with its own benefits. One of many: in the morning, you’re too sleepy to register how bad the university’s coffee is.
- Being an MBA student means feeling completely, hopelessly useless 99% of the time.
- Throw around some business jargon even if it doesn’t make any sense just to sound smarter.
You know how people use all these fancy words at snooty business conferences? Yeah I bet you 9 out of every 10 of them don’t know what the heck they’re talking about.
- Most of all, being here has made me so zen.