I mentioned before that I live with roommates. Four of them. FOUR roommates. Sure it sounds like a small number but when you really experience it you’l know that it means four different kinds of hormones floating around you at all times 24×7. So much fun (nope).
Now I love my roommates to bits, but there are times when all you want to do is take their keys away and lock them out of the apartment for the night.
Things you learn about life and personal hygiene when you live with roommates:
- “OMG! We’ve been robbed!” is the only appropriate response to finding the house clean after a long weekend.
- You put your headphones on even if you’re not listening to anything just to make sure nobody bothers you.
- You always have that one plate at the bottom of the sink that’s been there since Christmas and nobody knows whose it is. And NOBODY wants to touch it for fear of contracting a disease.
- If the sink is piling up with dozens of dirty dishes, you don’t do the dishes. But, if the sink has no dirty dishes, then you do the dishes, ‘cause then it’s easy to find out who was responsible for them.
- The lint box in the dryer is always ridiculously full. ALL THE TIME. It’s like someone stuck a tiny animal in the dryer.
- Control of the thermostat goes to whoever is up the longest. Your roommate is like a freaking night owl, so the entire apartment is always in sub-zero temperatures.
- The mystery of the flying poop is one that nobody wants to solve. You know that piece of excreta you find way up at the top of the toilet bowl? How the hell does it even get up there?!
- Playing jenga with the trash is everyone’s favorite game. You know how you think it’s your roommate’s turn to take the trash out and he thinks it’s yours. Neither of you are willing to say anything about it, but neither of you are going to take it out either. So you just pile up the trash until it tips over. Don’t you dare lose the game, loser has to take the mountain of trash out.