Life and Other Funny Things

Things You Learn About Life When You Have Roommates

I mentioned before that I live with roommates. Four of them. FOUR roommates. Sure it sounds like a small number but when you really experience it you’l know that it means four different kinds of hormones floating around you at all times 24×7. So much fun (nope).

Now I love my roommates to bits, but there are times when all you want to do is take their keys away and lock them out of the apartment for the night.

Things you learn about life and personal hygiene when you live with roommates:

  1. “OMG! We’ve been robbed!” is the only appropriate response to finding the house clean after a long weekend.
    Robbed
  2. You put your headphones on even if you’re not listening to anything just to make sure nobody bothers you.
  3. You always have that one plate at the bottom of the sink that’s been there since Christmas and nobody knows whose it is. And NOBODY wants to touch it for fear of contracting a disease.
  4. If the sink is piling up with dozens of dirty dishes, you don’t do the dishes. But, if the sink has no dirty dishes, then you do the dishes, ‘cause then it’s easy to find out who was responsible for them.
  5. The lint box in the dryer is always ridiculously full. ALL THE TIME. It’s like someone stuck a tiny animal in the dryer.
  6. Control of the thermostat goes to whoever is up the longest. Your roommate is like a freaking night owl, so the entire apartment is always in sub-zero temperatures.
  7. The mystery of the flying poop is one that nobody wants to solve. You know that piece of excreta you find way up at the top of the toilet bowl? How the hell does it even get up there?!
  8. Playing jenga with the trash is everyone’s favorite game. You know how you think it’s your roommate’s turn to take the trash out and he thinks it’s yours. Neither of you are willing to say anything about it, but neither of you are going to take it out either. So you just pile up the trash until it tips over. Don’t you dare lose the game, loser has to take the mountain of trash out.
Trash Jenga

Psshht, this is nothing, amateurs. (Source: theboola.com)

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36 thoughts on “Things You Learn About Life When You Have Roommates

  1. It’s a good think no one has a gun! I am a neatnik so either everyone would be dead or I would be constantly cleaning up (and damn grumpy). I can barely live with a husband let alone roommates. At least with a husband you can hold the sex card over his head.

  2. OMG. I would live in a box at the end of an alley before having roommates. Well, not unless they are furry and walk on all 4’s! You can keep the non – furry, upright walking kind!
    Love the “we’ve been robbed” pix!!!

  3. The first time I lived with roommates, it was such an odd living situation that we literally never saw each other. And there were four people living there.

    The second time was with friends, and we doled out responsibilities for chores before we even moved in. One person always did dishes, I always mowed the yard, and one person always… I don’t remember what that person did. I think they just kept things generally tidier than they would have been were it just me and my one friend.

  4. Back when I lived with roommates we had a solution for dealing with tenants that didn’t do their dishes. We’d pile them up in front of their door. Except for the occasional fistfight everything worked out fine. We also had a #7 equivalent, a can of Bud Light in the fridge that no one dared drink. (We were also beer snobs)

  5. So true. While I don’t live with roommates (just a wife), I do work in an office with eight women (no other men) and a lot of this applies there too. Maybe that’s why I wear headphones even when I’m not listening to anything.
    BTW, I’ve missed you around here, Four Eyes. Good to see you again.
    -David

  6. That’s something I don’t miss.
    Although Doggy makes up for all roommates and the other person at home loves to play jenga with the trash, it kills me.
    Nice to see you back around.

  7. This was totally my apartment at university. It was one of those four bedroom/four bathroom deals that they build around colleges, and I was with three severe party animals. I would come in at night and have to step over the bodies of those who had fallen to the evening’s drink and debauchery.

    Ahh, good times.

  8. I used to have 4 roommates too. 4 beds in one room and we shared bathroom and everything. Sometimes they get in my way, especially when i want some peace to write, but i miss them when they’re gone out of the room. Such is lofe

    • I may complain a whole bunch about having roommates, but in all honesty, its nice to have them around. It’d get pretty lonely playing trash jenga all by myself.

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