The 7 Stages of Not Having Any Work At Work

Stage 1: The Euphoria

You’re so happy, practically ecstatic at all your free time. The things you can do with all this time on your hands! *summersaults*

Stage 2: The Ego

You are the ONLY one without work on the entire floor, you must be pretty damn awesome to finish so quickly. You MUST be the smartest one in the office. Of course you are. *pats own back*

Stage 3: The Doubt

But wait, why are you the only one without work on the entire floor?! Does everyone know about a deadline that you don’t? Did the boss assign more tasks to them because she trusts them more? Or worse, did the boss give you less to do because she knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it?!

Stage 4: The Paranoia

You must be the stupidest person here! You are the only one without anything, ANYTHING, to do! Nobody wants to entrust you with work for fear that you’ll eff it up. You know that you suck, you know that you will never amount to anything.

Stage 5: The Panic

You’re getting fired today, you just know it. This is the day. Every time the phone rings you jump a little in your chair. You’ve never not had a job before. What are you going to do? You start thinking of back up plans. Could you be a barista at Starbucks again? How are you going to feed your dog?! Dog food costs more than your phone bills! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SURVIVE?!

Stage 6: The Optimism

Maybe this a sign to follow your dreams! Maybe this is karma telling you to go backpacking in Iceland and then return to civilization to become a rockstar! That’s it! You quit! You’re quitting before they let you go. NOBODY fires YOU!

Stage 7: The Disappointment

You just got an email from your boss. You’re in charge of the new team project! Woohoo! ….wait. This is a LOT of work. You’re going to have to spend a lot of time on this. Oh dear god. Today’s going to be an all-nighter. One of many to come. Sigh.

I make little eraser buddies when I’m bored at work. What do you do?