I have a plan!

My last plan didn’t exactly work out so well. What was the plan you ask? It went a little like this: Step 1: Forgo all notions of freedom, and sign up for a fancy graduate program that will send me into a Grand-Canon-sized amount of debt (aka the only kind of legal slavery still prevalent) … Continue reading →

Blocked and Backed up

I’ve been sitting here for the past hour trying to come up with something to write about. I’m blocked. Completely, entirely blocked. So here, a fantastic insight into what goes on in my head: A brony would make a really nice boyfriend. Rainbow bunnies are not cute. I should floss more. I look like I should be … Continue reading →

I’m in a threesome.

My friend got engaged. This is what went through my head when she told me: What? No! Now you’re off the market. Then Pregnancy-Fetish-Friend will be off the market, and then everyone will be off the market, except me. I’ll be there selling stock that nobody wants to buy. The market will be empty and … Continue reading →

Why did he, Newman, stop seeing her

One of my friends just started dating a new guy. She keeps raving about him, ‘New Guy is sooooooooo nice! He did this reeeeeeally nice thing for me!!’  (yeah, emphasis on the vowels just like that.) I haven’t met the guy yet. But I honestly wonder what his but is. No not his butt. His ‘But’. … Continue reading →