Life and Other Funny Things

I dare you to french kiss a bird

A bunch of my friends and I were at my Pregnancy Fetish Friend’s place last night. She has a lot of pets. And I do mean a LOT.
Do you know what happens when you there is no internet connection and you decide to have birds and alcohol in the same room? Bad things. Very bad things.

Girls take dares to make out with birds.

Kissing Bird 1

Blondie making out with Maw the Macaw

Kissing Bird 1

Blondie kissing Jasper the Perv

Except, she wasn’t drunk. And nobody dared her. The making out was completely offered up. Now you see why I call her Blondie?

Men consider cross dressing

Cross-dresser

My friend, The Bear, with an earring.

That is not a clip on, and his ears were not pierced before. You’d think that it was a good thing he was drunk since that would’ve hurt otherwise. But he wasn’t drinking, he is simply that crazy.

Jasper really liked the earring and decided that he wanted it for himself. So he climbed up The Bear’s arm and gently tugged on the earring. Ouch!

Humans get raped by birds

Stripping

Jasper stripping The Bear

Jasper wasn’t drunk either, he’s just a pervert. The Bear was not his first victim of the night.

Okay, so maybe alcohol isn’t to be blamed. But, seriously, don’t drink around birds. (or children)(or your mother)

Oh and, hypothetically speaking, don’t make fried chicken with birds around. One might get a panic attack, while the other one faints. And you might have to put your cross-dressing friend in an empty bird cage for time out when he tries to get one of the birds to become a cannibal. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

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17 thoughts on “I dare you to french kiss a bird

    • As kinky as they come! No, no mushrooms involved though. My friends are deathly scared of them. They think that since mushrooms are fungus, it would mean that fungus would grow inside them if they ate it.

  1. I think it was lucky that no one lost a tongue to a ravenous and kill-crazy bird. It would be a hell of a story, only you couldn’t tell it very well, what with your tongue having been ripped out and all.

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